jdpower Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon "Paranormal Activity 2" - terrifying tale of suburban home that unexpectedly gets possessed by Bank of America.
←Rate | 10-29-2010 13:33 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I were a Jedi, I'd have long frizzy hair, red leather pants, and lots of attitude.. and I'd go by Obi-wan Bon Jovi.
←Rate | 05-11-2011 22:22 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon A handful of Nigerian scam artists are wrecking it for all the honest Nigerians who want to wire money to us.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 11:04 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could never bring myself to kill....however, I do have a list of some pretty sweet hiding spots.
←Rate | 04-13-2010 00:59 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Camping out for video game releases is a fun way to prepare for your impending homelessness.
←Rate | 09-14-2010 15:28 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Justin Bieber is approximately the same diameter as the oil pipe in the Gulf......is anybody thinking what I'm thinking?
←Rate | 06-08-2010 01:38 by jdpower Comments (2)  


   messageicon How awesome would it would have been if David Blaine had somehow been the first one brought up out of the mine.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 00:37 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting pretty stoked for all the Facebook albums of sh!tty firework pictures I'm gonna see next week!
←Rate | 06-30-2011 19:35 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attention bullies: if you're looking for lunch money, there are tons of nerds hoarding around outside Apple Stores right now.
←Rate | 06-24-2010 12:00 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon So we just spent $4 billion on an election about "too much spending?"
←Rate | 11-04-2010 21:09 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Only 9,000 more lies until Election Day.
←Rate | 10-26-2010 11:28 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to scare anyone, but we're only a decade or so away from grandmothers named Amber or Brittany.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 02:15 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon We may lag behind the Chinese in math and science, but we are absolutely kicking their butts in the tattooed homewreckers category.
←Rate | 04-13-2010 01:02 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon By now, Colonel Sanders has killed more people prematurely than if he were an actual military officer.
←Rate | 09-22-2010 16:29 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Joran van der Sloot arrested for murder? Wow! If only there were warning signs.
←Rate | 06-08-2010 01:40 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Megan Fox will not be acting in Transformers 3. So, no change from Transformers 1 and 2.
←Rate | 05-21-2010 01:51 by jdpower Comments (2)  


   messageicon Don't call me lazy unless you've walked a mile in my slippers
←Rate | 05-11-2011 22:20 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon You work hard. You sacrifice. You fight injustice. You think you're making a difference.. Then you find out Snooki has a book deal.
←Rate | 10-01-2010 17:37 by jdpower Comments (1)  


   messageicon I support precisely enough global warming to flood Jersey Shore.
←Rate | 08-24-2010 18:42 by jdpower Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scientists at Lake Tahoe are fighting off a clam invasion.. Or to use scientific terms, "Lilith Fair"
←Rate | 07-12-2010 01:55 by jdpower Comments (0)  




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