snotty Funny Status Messages
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Page: 14 of 159
My wife is mad at me just because I didn't open the car door... I guess I just panicked and swam to the surface.
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04-14-2012 19:57 by snotty
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When you open your heart to someone, there is blood...... LOTS and LOTS of blood... And then you die. So don't open your heart.
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06-12-2012 19:52 by snotty
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I thought we were gonna buy Mexico, Then fix it up & flip it... What ever happened with that?
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07-01-2012 20:31 by snotty
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When you hear "that's illegal in 49 states,"....The other state is ALWAYS Kentucky..
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05-01-2012 13:19 by snotty
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Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn't just painted on.
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01-14-2014 16:20 by snotty
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If you're buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I'm sorry to tell you it's not working
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06-22-2013 16:26 by snotty
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The most effective way to torture young people is to make them watch old people use a computer.
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10-28-2012 23:33 by snotty
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In Dec, cops should take off the blue lights and make them green. It's more festive... Like getting pulled over by Santa.
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12-05-2012 10:56 by snotty
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..Hey,,, Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his neighbor in the woods?
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11-24-2011 07:41 by snotty
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Our dog actually figured out how to work the can opener... I'm not worried tho, because he still can't read & just keeps opening up creamed corn.
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04-20-2012 15:21 by snotty
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By all means,, Keep filming that crying African baby for our sake. Whatever you do, don't pick it up, or shoo the flies away, or feed it or anything humane.
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04-24-2014 16:58 by snotty
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If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer,, you're going to jail.
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08-29-2013 20:05 by snotty
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ACME Rockets has filed for bankruptcy after losing both N. Korea and Wile E. Coyote's accounts.
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04-14-2012 17:51 by snotty
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Showed the kids here how to eat corn-on-the-cob typewriter style........ Now explaining typewriter.
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04-07-2012 14:12 by snotty
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I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools.
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09-24-2013 22:16 by snotty
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You can't afford a bar of soap, but Beer,, Cigarettes,, & $700 worth of tattoos is not a problem?.. This is why sometimes I have a hard time feeling bad for most people
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04-14-2012 19:54 by snotty
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How long does it usually take for a Happy Meal to start working?.... It's been an hour,,,,
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09-07-2012 21:47 by snotty
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Keep it down kids,,,, Daddy is trying to think of something stupid to say on the internet.
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06-01-2012 08:25 by snotty
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If you LOVE something, set it free.. If it comes back to you,,,,you love a boomerang
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04-11-2012 06:50 by snotty
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FYI: When each one of the Golden Girls died, the remaining ones gained their power,,, and now Betty White is an immortal highlander.
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10-19-2013 21:53 by snotty
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