anonymous Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Martial law is coming. Fight for your freedom. Fight for the right to live. Stop the New World Order.
←Rate | 07-11-2013 14:07 by ANONYMOUS Comments (0)  


   messageicon going to the dark side they have cookies
←Rate | 01-09-2012 00:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon what? sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of me not giving a f***.
←Rate | 12-21-2011 08:34 by anonymous Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's bad enough that my dog picked one of the most congested streets to take a sh*t, but he had to do it in the middle of the sidewalk while people stared. Psh, puppies.
←Rate | 03-31-2011 20:37 by anonymous Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have to admit, I am a Creationist- I believe God was created by man.
←Rate | 03-13-2011 12:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone find themselves singing hollaback girl anytime they need to spell the word bananas?
←Rate | 01-04-2011 18:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon For Sale: 24 pedigree pigeons, call 0161 123 1234 and ask for Tyrone......
←Rate | 11-09-2010 14:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering what they are saying behind my back
←Rate | 08-11-2010 10:58 by anonymous Comments (0)  


   messageicon M.I.L.F. Man, I Love Funyuns!
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:49 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I go down to the Home Depot and pick up day laborers in my truck just to have people to drink with. Hop in, amigos. It's Miller time.
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I found out I was going to be burned at the stake, I think I'd fill all my pockets with popcorn kernels
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:47 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Viagra has instructions, keep away from children - what kind of man do you think I am?
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:47 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon I throw a dart at my wall calendar to decide what day it is. Thanks to my bad aim, today is Window.
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:47 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it. ..... happy thursday everyone
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:47 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon text from a female: "Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless."
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:46 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tough decisions... Beat off in the shower and waste water or use Kleenex and add to landfill? What can I say? I love Mother Earth and big titties.
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:46 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon lying in my lovers arms...ahhh my arms are soo soft
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:06 | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon As I'm getting older I've noticed my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used
←Rate | 05-19-2009 20:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon guesses Chris Brown sure taught Rihanna how to breathe with "no air"
←Rate | 05-19-2009 18:38 Comments (1)  


   messageicon stuck in the moment and he can't get out of it...
←Rate | 05-19-2009 18:13 Comments (0)  



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