ANONYMOUS Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon wants to say to the nice stranger he saw while driving around, "Next time you wave at me, use all of your fingers."
←Rate | 04-22-2009 01:51 Comments (0)  

   messageicon says, "If you want something in life, you have to work hard for it... Now shut up! They're about to announce the winning lottery numbers!"
←Rate | 04-08-2009 06:34 Comments (0)  

   messageicon not every flower can say love, but a rose does. Not every plant can survive thirst, but a cactus does. Not every retard can read... but look at you go!
←Rate | 04-28-2009 13:18 Comments (8)  

   messageicon just once, wants to hear Bob The Builder say "Can we build it?! No, were f*cked!!"
←Rate | 04-03-2009 21:52 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Does anyone find themselves singing hollaback girl anytime they need to spell the word bananas?
←Rate | 01-04-2011 18:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks it is wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
←Rate | 04-17-2009 23:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon ashamed of what he did for a Klondike bar.
←Rate | 02-04-2009 10:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon "used to care, but now I take a pill for that!! "
←Rate | 02-15-2009 16:08 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering why people think they are invisible when they pick their noses in the car?
←Rate | 10-29-2008 16:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes I go down to the Home Depot and pick up day laborers in my truck just to have people to drink with. Hop in, amigos. It's Miller time.
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon letting you know your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory
←Rate | 02-26-2008 18:44 Comments (7)  

   messageicon doesn't make mistakes, she dates them
←Rate | 04-02-2009 20:47 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who decided that a round pizza should be put in a square box?
←Rate | 05-06-2009 04:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon tired of chasing his dreams. I'm just going to ask where they are going and hook up with them later.
←Rate | 04-16-2008 09:24 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Shouldn't the fortune in every fortune cookie be "You are about to eat a stale cookie?"
←Rate | 05-17-2009 15:41 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.
←Rate | 05-16-2009 19:54 Comments (0)  

   messageicon in a relationship with Jack Daniel's.
←Rate | 03-04-2009 16:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon works hard because millions on welfare depend on me!
←Rate | 02-10-2009 16:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon THOUGHT about getting outta bed, still thinking, still thinking
←Rate | 02-27-2009 11:56 Comments (0)  

   messageicon knows he was unwanted as a child when he found his bath toys were a radio and a toaster!
←Rate | 04-21-2009 10:45 Comments (0)  

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