Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon giving the recent plane accident, I bet now Mitt Romney realizes why the plane windows stay closed
←Rate | 04-23-2018 06:54 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Viagra is like Disney land, the both make you wait a hour for a three minute ride.
←Rate | 04-23-2018 05:51 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon What do woman and police cars have in common? The both make a lot of noise when they are coming.
←Rate | 04-23-2018 05:34 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Silence is your best responce when talking to an idiot
←Rate | 04-23-2018 03:55 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon I'm so ugly, when I play Mortal Combat, Scorpion tells me "Stay Over There!".
←Rate | 04-23-2018 01:41 by ClarkKent Comments (1)  

   messageicon So, apparently the Waffle house shooter thought Taylor Swift was stalking him. Let me guess, you people think he's the perfect candidate to own a gun, right?
←Rate | 04-23-2018 01:24 Comments (1)  

   messageicon "I stubbed my toe today. I'm not ready to share photos yet but I will keep you guys updated daily." - probably Carrie Underwood
←Rate | 04-23-2018 01:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Mini Me was only 49. He lived a short life.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 22:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was little my parents told me I could be anything I wanted to be. Turns out they were identity thieves.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 20:38 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I stopped talking to myself because it's too much social stimulation
←Rate | 04-22-2018 20:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Who needs an alarm clock? Giving mine away because my bladder is set permanently for 5:30AM.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 20:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Climate Change is controlled by "them"
←Rate | 04-22-2018 20:04 Comments (2)  

   messageicon gettin extra faded in honor of mini me
←Rate | 04-22-2018 19:14 by Fadolo Comments (0)  

   messageicon If Jack Black and Jack White had a baby together, what name would they use?
←Rate | 04-22-2018 18:08 by gil Comments (0)  

   messageicon The pollen is so bad this year that the folks in the trailer parks are cooking their crystal meth back into Sudafed.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 17:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon SmellyAnne Conway has a real pointy chin.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 17:26 Comments (1)  

   messageicon So, I'm driving through Texas, where I read a billboard sign that says "Damn Yankees may have taken our N*ggers, but not our guns". Wow! Welcome to the year 2018 everyone.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 14:35 Comments (2)  

   messageicon Cheating on your wife is a sin. You people do know that, right? If you agree vote up, if not vote down. C0nservative poll only.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 14:17 Comments (6)  

   messageicon I’m not superstitious but I am a little stitious.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 13:18 by M.Scott Comments (0)  

   messageicon So I was deleting ugly people on my FB account and I nearly deleted my damn self.
←Rate | 04-22-2018 10:21 Comments (2)  


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