father OR dad Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon There's a Father Nature, too, but all he's responsible for is the temperature.
←Rate | 07-14-2018 12:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Father inlaw: A priest who is also a lawyer.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 19:24 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What dad's really would like for father'r day. To be left alone so they can drink their beer in peace.
←Rate | 06-16-2018 22:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell what was the best year of your father's life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and just ride it out.
←Rate | 05-19-2018 08:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Confusion: Father's day in the ghetto
←Rate | 05-02-2018 02:34 by Shain1976 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gave my son the "you live under my roof, you play by my rules" speech and my father's mustache immediately appeared on my face.
←Rate | 04-16-2018 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still remember the day my father promoted me to general disappointment.
←Rate | 03-05-2018 10:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Darth Vader: The first black guy to admit he's the father.
←Rate | 12-15-2017 11:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Forgive me Father for I have sinned” and “Sorry Daddy I’ve been bad” both mean very similar things, but have wildly different connotations
←Rate | 10-28-2017 10:42 by DaPongLenis Comments (0)  


   messageicon my great great grandfather: I cleared 40 acres by hand and grew food to feed people. My father: I fought WWII and ended the horror. Me: I think $9.99/month might be too much for Spotify.
←Rate | 10-22-2017 21:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congrats Khloe Kardashian! You're father was granted parole!
←Rate | 07-20-2017 15:55 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Father's Day to all you mf'er's out there!
←Rate | 06-18-2017 16:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If she asks you what you want for Father's Day. Tell her to take you off child support.
←Rate | 06-15-2017 15:40 by Surhater Comments (0)  


   messageicon A home-made Father's Day gift from your kids seems nice until you remember kids in other countries make Air Jordans and iPhones.
←Rate | 06-10-2017 14:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ryan Lochte is going to be a father, which proves that no matter how stupid you may be, it only takes one strong swimmer to get somebody pregnant.
←Rate | 12-15-2016 05:13 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mick Jagger a Father again? Really? Has he ever been a father before? I think s p e r m donor would be more appropriate
←Rate | 12-09-2016 15:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, Mick Jagger is a new father at the age of 73. I guess time really is on his side.
←Rate | 12-09-2016 06:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Found out my father is voting for Hillary, which is strange since he died in 2004
←Rate | 10-22-2016 11:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My father taught me that Respect was something that had to be earned ..... So I'm still trying to figure out how looting and burning other peoples stuff is supposed to build respect for your cause.
←Rate | 09-22-2016 23:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Donald Trump Jr should not make fun of Skittles and Syrian refugees -- his mother is an immigrant and his father is an orange Skittle.
←Rate | 09-21-2016 04:54 Comments (0)  

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