Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   How fitting is it Hugh Hefner died on hump day

   Hugh Heffner...the only person who we can truly say is not in a better place now...

   As a Disabled Veteran let me make my opinion very clear. If you take a knee during the National Anthem you are not disrespecting me. YOU ARE HONORING ME. I sacrificed for your freedom to make that choice.

   "Goodbye, everyone. I'll remember you all in therapy." -Me, leaving a family reunion.

   Technology today is a race between smart people striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof gadgets, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the universe is winning.

   One thing that I have noticed about conspiracy theories is that they all depend on the government perpetrators being endlessly clever. I think you'll find that government perpetrators are endlessly stupid.

   Hugh Hefner dead at 91, Financial news, Kleenex is announcing profit lost for next year.

   I raise my left hand in salute to you sir. RIP Hugh Hefner.

   Who loves you more; your wife or your dog? Try this test: Lock both of them in the basement for 24 hours. The next day when you open the door, which one will be happy to see you? There's your answer.

   Tic toc tic toc tic toc it will soon be MULLER TIME

   Now that Hugh Hefner has passed away, do the bunnies get the house?

   I see the same women that call Trump a pig..Praising Hugh Hefner tonight. I'll take stupid for $800 Alex

   From 10 to 250 and RISING.

   That old pervert is gone

   So....:it's not okay to have children deported, but it is okay to have them aborted? How does that make sense?!

   Hugh Hefner dead at 91.... =( Good thing he had so many reasons to keep it up for so long

   I took a knee today. My shoe was untied. It wasn't a statement. Just wanted to let everyone to know.

   Got some good financial news today. The kid I've been sponsoring in some third-world country got eaten by a lion.

   NASCAR, you will do as your told just like you were trained.

   NFL= NOT FOR LONG