Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon If you believe in open borders ..Why is your fence so high .
←Rate | 07-11-2018 15:43 Comments (6)  


   messageicon A decision so bad you wish you had just got a face tattoo instead.
←Rate | 07-11-2018 15:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Hi, I'm here to ruin your life" - Social media
←Rate | 07-11-2018 15:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So how long before GoFundMe is our nation's leading health care provider?
←Rate | 07-11-2018 08:13 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Thinking of making a horror movie titled Front Facing Camera
←Rate | 07-11-2018 01:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Anything can be used as a dartboard. Like your coworker Jim who always says "another day in paradise".
←Rate | 07-10-2018 23:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did you know that smacking a bar waitress on the a$$ will get you a drink from the special menu ?..
←Rate | 07-10-2018 20:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you support open borders, then you should be fine with them living in your spare bedroom.
←Rate | 07-10-2018 13:18 Comments (4)  


   messageicon I hate when peeps say "Be Pacific"... Okay dumb @$$ and you be Atlantic.
←Rate | 07-10-2018 11:33 by ZumbaDi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I pretend to be dead will you stop talking?
←Rate | 07-10-2018 10:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just assume every Italian person ever has met Rocky
←Rate | 07-10-2018 10:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Your first mistake was asking her what she is thinking and your second was listening to her reply.
←Rate | 07-10-2018 09:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just want to be rich enough to get away with 2 murders. 3 tops.
←Rate | 07-10-2018 09:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you wake up to pee, don't "take a second" to check your Facebook. It's a trap.
←Rate | 07-10-2018 09:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me or has this World Cup been on for like 149 years?
←Rate | 07-10-2018 09:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson hasn't released a movie in three weeks. I hope he's okay.
←Rate | 07-10-2018 09:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is it so hard to get the sticky label off of a new non-stick frying pan?
←Rate | 07-09-2018 22:20 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being constantly preached about things is no reason to hate a person or group of people.
←Rate | 07-09-2018 12:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One day many years ago there was a man who didn't drink any beer. But it was many years ago and it was only for that one day...
←Rate | 07-09-2018 11:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know your farts must really stink when you fart and your dog gets up and leaves the room.
←Rate | 07-09-2018 11:25 by Jake Comments (0)  




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