Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5768 of 6374
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Giving this positive outlook thing the old college try. Which means I'll only try on Tuesdays and Thursdays after noon.
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07-16-2010 18:01 by Joser
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Its been a business doing pleasure with you...
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07-16-2010 18:01 by Joser
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I enjoy watching uptight people try to act laid back.
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07-16-2010 17:56 by Joser
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Traffic lights are society's way of mocking the colorblind.
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07-16-2010 17:55 by Joser
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Behind every great man is a ninja. And behind that ninja is another ninja.
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07-16-2010 17:55 by Joser
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OMG, you drink near beer? That's like when my sister circled all the Waldo's in my "Where's Waldo Book?" totally worthless and not enjoyable.
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In a Relationship w/ Friday. "I'm really happy to see you again, you know how much I love you and miss you. Although we only see each other once a week, you never fail to make me happy. What I really like the most about you is that UNLIKE GIRLS, you don't
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07-16-2010 17:04 by AJ
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Was once told that you will never find the right person if you do not let go of the wrong one...by the time I realized it was a figure of speech... She had already hit the ground.
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07-16-2010 17:01 by derek
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Some people should shove sticks up their a*ses like lollipops cause they are nothing but f**king suckers!
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07-16-2010 16:54
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The reason guys don't have problems with underarm fat? We were born with shake weights already attached
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07-16-2010 16:15
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The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when they fill out a job application.
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You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, "My God, you're right! I never would've thought of that!"
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sometimes feels like a booger on the dashboard of life
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07-16-2010 15:49 by gator
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didn't think I needed a dude for anything...but batteries aren't gonna help me move this furniture around.
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I just ordered a cup of coffee from a BP gas stations and the attendant spilled it... why am I not surprised!
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07-16-2010 14:42 by geez
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Are you into fitness? Then you shouldn't have a problem fitness d*** in ur mouth!
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07-16-2010 14:24
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Plano TX, where guys show up in ed hardy T- shirts glittered up, fake bake tan, dragon ball z hair, wearing sunglasses indoors. Thank you for making meeting women so easy for me.
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Plano, where guys show up in ed hardy shirt glittered up, fake bake tan, dragon ball z hair, wearing sunglasses indoors.
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So, ladies..... when you don't feel like using the "Shakeweight," do you tell yourself you have a headache?
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07-16-2010 13:39 by bigedusw
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Do NOT download the Mel Gibson app on your new iPhone. It attacks all your other apps, then implodes.
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07-16-2010 13:01 by jdpower
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