Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5764 of 6383
I finally figured out what the red and blue lights mean on an RCMP cruiser, so they know which side to get in on
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07-21-2010 21:54
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remember the police are sort of like dogs, they usually don't chase you unless you run.
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07-21-2010 21:30 by L
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I took this personality test on the internet, and it said... "Describe yourself in one word." I answered, "Not good at following instructions."
Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it.
The future is that time when you'll wish you'd done what you aren't doing now.
The A/C in my office isn't working and has now officially become an employee.
Money....Here Today, Gone Today!!
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07-21-2010 21:06
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Yes, I'm coming to your party. Please introduce me to everyone before I get there, I don't want to have to explain my whole "deal."
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07-21-2010 20:58 by gez
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My apartment is where weird foreigners go to have a loud conversation right outside of...
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07-21-2010 20:54 by geez
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If ESPN had a cake show, they could call it "Laying Down a Bundt."
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07-21-2010 20:51 by geez
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's misery likes tequila, not company.
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07-21-2010 20:34
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You know you spend too much time on facebook when you start refering to people by their first, maiden, and last name!
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07-21-2010 19:21 by boo
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off to Mamby Pamby land for some self-confidence...
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07-21-2010 18:35 by TC
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Feminists. If you hate men so much, why are you always trying to be like us?
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07-21-2010 17:17
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named his dog Egypt cause he leave pyramids all around the house.
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07-21-2010 17:09
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wishes they all could be California girls.
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07-21-2010 17:05
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A "Sarah Palindrome" is a sentence that reads forwards, but sounds backwards.
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07-21-2010 16:55 by jdpower
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wishes Lebron went to The Mets.
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07-21-2010 16:39 by L
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outside the bathroom you're an American. Inside the bathroom...European.
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07-21-2010 16:28 by Nate
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People are funny. They spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't need, to impress people they don't like.