Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5699 of 6384
Sky-diving: good til the last drop.
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08-16-2010 03:37 by wert
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POVERTY: Having too much month left at the end of the money.
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08-16-2010 03:34 by fhgjg
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Schizophrenia beats being alone.
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08-16-2010 03:33 by fgg
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Blow your mind -- smoke gunpowder.
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08-16-2010 03:32 by big d
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Obviously the only rational solution to your problem is suicide.
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08-16-2010 03:30 by Danny
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If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
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08-16-2010 03:29 by bull
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The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they're going to be when you kill them.
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08-16-2010 03:28 by FMLYHM
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I think I drink too much... my liver is so shriveled, black and dead, if you put your ear up to it you can hear Gary Coleman.
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08-16-2010 02:47 by e.n.
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i don't always drink beer but when I do I prefer to get wasted
Quick!! Someone make a status update about tomorrow being Monday and how you're already counting down the days until the weekend is here...
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08-16-2010 00:07 by DAYAM
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Welcome to my world:-)...Oh yeah, I forgot..your not in it..:-/
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08-15-2010 23:57
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I miss ___________. I rather not mention you b/c your not worth mentioning :-)
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08-15-2010 23:54
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Status Unavailable. Please Try Again Later.
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08-15-2010 22:33
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Last night I had an epifanny....I realized I couldn't spell.
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08-15-2010 22:27
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Tried to order at McDonald's today, couldn't understand her. So I started poking her forehead with my finger, I was trying to push 1 for English.
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08-15-2010 22:26
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smoking probable cause :D
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08-15-2010 21:13 by L
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If myspace and Twitter were suddenly gone, would anyone really care?
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08-15-2010 21:06
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you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you should never, under any circumstances, pick your friend's nose.
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08-15-2010 20:15 by Nate
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sad that my FB has become my BFF.....
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08-15-2010 20:09
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I heard there was a perfect woman at every corner of the world....Unfortunately, the world is ROUND!!!!