Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5558 of 6384
So I wonder will Moss wear #84 again? Seems that wouldn't be good for jersey sales as everyone on the bandwagon 10 years ago prob still has their Moss jersey in the back of their closet or trailer or whatever...
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10-06-2010 16:49 by AMS
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If only you knew what I was capable of...
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10-06-2010 16:05 by the used
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thinks that if Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga had a baby, it would look like Chuky.
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10-06-2010 16:03
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slowly going insane... just to get away from all these normal ppl... O.o
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10-06-2010 15:47
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chloraseptic tastes like the smell of a new shower curtain
i undressed him with my eyes
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10-06-2010 14:34
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Dude that girl that was at the party is dating a little person. He just came in with a mini keg and I laughed at him then he flipped me off with a little person finger and I laughed harder and they made me leave. come and get me...
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10-06-2010 13:51
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The computer just crashed and erased all the work I didn't do this morning.
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10-06-2010 13:40 by Aaron
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I am imperfection perfected.
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10-06-2010 13:11 by Aaron
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In life, it seems the group of people who are easily offended and the group of people who are easily confused tend to be the same group.
9 out of 10 men smell their finger after scratching their nuts
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10-06-2010 12:19 by bb
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I hate how the iPhone auto-corrects "f**k that" to "yes, dear".
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10-06-2010 12:09 by Aaron
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I was escorted out of the funeral before I was done high fiving everyone.
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10-06-2010 12:09 by Aaron
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- David Cameron says `Your country needs you` ....... No David , this country needs you to Fu@k Off ! You posh wanker ...
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10-06-2010 12:07
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Call off the search for Waldo. I think this large man on the bus, wearing a red and white striped hat, ate him.
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10-06-2010 12:05 by Aaron
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The first time I got drunk, I threw up in a neighbor's silverware drawer. I just closed it and never looked back.
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10-06-2010 12:05 by Aaron
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Did you know that no two farts are exactly alike? It's true. Farts are sort of like snowflakes in that regard. Little, invisible, smelly, snowflakes.
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10-06-2010 10:56
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"I like" IF EVERYONE stops writing where they "like it" ... thank you!
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10-06-2010 10:50 by Lui
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A woman walked into the pharmacy and asked for some batteries. The pharmacist gestured with his index finger and said,"Come this way." The woman replied, "If I could come that way, I wouldn't need the batteries!"
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time television were: Fred and Wilma Flintstone.