Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I will respect any religion you practice as long as you never knock on my door to tell me about it.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 14:13 by Marshall the Great Comments (6)  


   messageicon There had to have been some kind of break through in the pumpkin sciences this year because everything at the store has pumpkin in it!
←Rate | 10-25-2010 14:11 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Mr. undercover police car, I like your 5 extra antennas. ;)
←Rate | 10-25-2010 14:10 by Heather25 Comments (3)  


   messageicon I don't start trouble! I just keep it going.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 14:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess, I just don't get the whole, shaved off and drawn on eyebrow thingee women got going on.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 14:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everybody learns how to dance when they drop a knife.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 14:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My husband and I have never considered divorce...murder sometimes, but never divorce.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 13:56 by Heather25 Comments (8)  


   messageicon When your girlfriend has Taylor Swift lyrics as her status, you know you've either done something very right or something very wrong.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 13:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm tired of people seeing me and telling me they called me and I didn't pick up. "Yes, I remember ignoring that".
←Rate | 10-25-2010 13:38 by Heather25 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Condom Ad: if you are not 100% satisfied with our product, Happy Father's Day!!
←Rate | 10-25-2010 13:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are condoms like cameras? They both capture the moment.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 13:21 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're Not my type is just a nicer way of saying your Ugly.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 13:12 by Nazir Comments (0)  


   messageicon hates eating hard shell tacos. Take one bite and it becomes nachos.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 13:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon out like your hairdo!!
←Rate | 10-25-2010 12:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Running with scissors. Take that society.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 11:18 by abbybaby34bc Comments (0)  


   messageicon TIP TO REDUCE WEIGHT! first turn your head to the left...then turn your head to the right,..repeat this excercise evrytime you are offerd something to EAT
←Rate | 10-25-2010 10:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon busy re-wrapping extra strength chocolate ex-lax in Hershey miniature wrappers for the Trick or Treat-ers this week end.
←Rate | 10-25-2010 10:42 by jimbo Comments (3)  


   messageicon It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married
←Rate | 10-25-2010 10:38 by KLA Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sow your wild oats on Saturday night; then on Sunday, pray for crop failure
←Rate | 10-25-2010 10:33 by KLA Comments (0)  


   messageicon What matters is not the length of the wand, but the magic in the stick
←Rate | 10-25-2010 10:29 by KLA Comments (0)  




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