Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5550 of 6384
Making up fake resumes for my coworkers and submitting them for sh!tty jobs.
When the Spice Girls chose their "Spicy" alter-ego nicknames, the girl with the biggest boobs should have chosen to go by Spice Rack.
It's not the destination, it's the journey. Except when you're heading to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea.
go to Google and push the play button. You're Welcome:)
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10-09-2010 07:49
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loves playing with it more and more the longer it gets! (my hair)
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10-09-2010 03:57 by TOL
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Does womens restrooms have attendants in the fancy strip clubs? If so how do I apply?
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10-09-2010 03:56
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My whipped ice dairy drink brings the attention of many males to my place of residence and they declare its quality far surpasses yours. Absolutely, it far surpasses yours. I could convey to you the recipe but I would have to demand compensation
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10-09-2010 03:27
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divorce is unexpected sometimes...I know you don't have facebook hubby but the biotch your doing that has been creeping my status can give ya this message....lawyer will be in touch with the divorce papers you cheating jerk!!
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10-09-2010 00:45
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Girls are like buses they come and go. But remember there's only one bus that takes you home. Never miss that ONE bus :)
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10-09-2010 00:40
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Daughter walks in on her mom giving dad a hand job, "Mommy, what you doing?" Mom says "Your daddy is getting too fat, so I'm letting some of the air out of him." The little girl replies, "Good luck, the lady next door is just got done blowing him up again
I just realized that you can find more of your friends under the "other tools" category. Apparently, FB doesn't really know my friends because none of them were under this category...
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10-09-2010 00:13 by Amanda
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so if you bug me for my number and I tell you my credit score...will you go away??
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10-09-2010 00:10
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i know so many people who wish they were computer geeks now...they pay really well too
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10-09-2010 00:04
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recycle...because mother earth likes to regift too
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10-08-2010 23:44
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i'm tired...will you carry me to bed?
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10-08-2010 23:30
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can someone give me directions to the humor section please?
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10-08-2010 23:27
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"Of course I was driving under the influence, I'm too drunk to walk!"
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10-08-2010 23:14 by goodolboy
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who cares about weight or looks a beautiful woman to me is one who is comfortable in her own skin with a credit score more than 715.
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10-08-2010 21:59
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thinks that he has stumbled onto the secret of true happiness, but unfortunately, he hasn't figured out a way to charge people for it.
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10-08-2010 21:49
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Nobody has new and fresh ideas...whats going on ppl!
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10-08-2010 19:40
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