Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon wants to remind everyone that all those little ghosts, goblins, princesses, and witches are having the time of their life so please drink responsibly and drive safetly.
←Rate | 10-30-2010 13:40 by fefe Comments (0)  


   messageicon Perfect nite for New Years eve practice....You can build up your alcohol tolerance in disguise to hide the fact your a lightweight.
←Rate | 10-30-2010 13:12 by nyrock Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a toyota prius crashes into a tree, does it make a sound?
←Rate | 10-30-2010 13:11 by Supraman Comments (0)  


   messageicon trying to find the differences between an Oompa-Loompa and Snooki... gotta be the hair!!!
←Rate | 10-30-2010 12:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Halloweenkend!!
←Rate | 10-30-2010 12:19 by L Comments (0)  


   messageicon ...this year in California, the most popular Halloween mask is Arnold Schwartzenegger. The great thing about it is: with a mouthful of candy, you'll sound just like him!
←Rate | 10-30-2010 12:08 by mickeybruce Comments (0)  


   messageicon i find myself trying to like text messages..wtf?
←Rate | 10-30-2010 12:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thats the last time I order cheap printer cartridges from yemen.......
←Rate | 10-30-2010 11:35 by chronic Comments (0)  


   messageicon The devil and I go way back. It all started that day we were playing with matches!
←Rate | 10-30-2010 11:27 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon starting an oatmeal delivery company.I`m leaning towards naming it Haulin` Oats.
←Rate | 10-30-2010 11:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon : I've decided that when I get to superstar status, I will not have a security guard. I will have a ninja.
←Rate | 10-30-2010 10:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The deaf can now also enjoy phone sex......... by texting
←Rate | 10-30-2010 10:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon hi weekend! let me introduce you to my basement..........you're not going anywhere!
←Rate | 10-30-2010 09:58 by topherboy1981 Comments (0)  


   messageicon put the bom in the bom sha-bom bom, but lays no claim to the ram in the ramalama ding dong
←Rate | 10-30-2010 09:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does a pumpkin smile after being torn out its entrail ..
←Rate | 10-30-2010 09:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon so busy , in fact I have more on than a redundant stripper.
←Rate | 10-30-2010 08:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon As my 5 year-old nephew and I carved my pumpkin today, I swear I heard him say, “That's what happens to snitches.”
←Rate | 10-30-2010 08:32 by stupidsidetongue Comments (0)  


   messageicon I got to get my life on track if I still expect Elton John to change the lyrics of "Candle in the Wind" for me.
←Rate | 10-30-2010 07:58 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did anyone ever think that Charlie Brown could have used some counseling? I mean seriously, the kid was bullied, made fun of, and was bald by the time he was ten!
←Rate | 10-30-2010 05:38 by nick Comments (0)  


   messageicon accidentally burnt dinner.. probably a good thing I'm dressed like witch for everytime I open the door, smoke from inside the house comes out and the little kids thinks it's cool
←Rate | 10-30-2010 03:22 by Elbow Comments (0)  




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