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Why won't facebook let me change my relationship status to "in an imaginary relationship with Milla Jovovich"?
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10-09-2010 17:44
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you cant enjoy a fight without a foam finger.. .
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10-09-2010 17:32
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They're going to be so pissed off in Chile when they get down the mine and only find Bart Simpson's walkie-talkie
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10-09-2010 17:13 by
jimbo
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My girlfriend talks faster than the speed of sound. This explains why I never hear her.
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10-09-2010 17:06 by
Aaron
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Ah Man! Nothing worse than seeing two flies fornicating on your fresh off the grill, 12 dollar ribeye steak.....Appetite gone.
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10-09-2010 17:00 by
rll
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Headed to Lowe's. After what I just did in the bathroom, it's best we just build another one.
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10-09-2010 16:12 by
Aaron
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- The biggest Lie Ever: "I have read the Terms and Conditions".
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10-09-2010 15:31 by
trickz100
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Saw someone dressed in Darth Vader garb driving an old Honda Civic today. Apparently the recession has touched all corners of the universe.
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10-09-2010 14:50
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I read some article which said that the symptoms of stress are impulse buying, eating too much and driving too fast. Are they kidding? That's what I call a perfect day.
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10-09-2010 13:01 by
rll
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It's time to give up jogging for your health when your thighs keep rubbing together and starting your pants on fire.
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10-09-2010 13:00 by
rll
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The lies pornos tell...smh...Not every woman would f*ck some random guy at the door with a "special" package!!...and why doesnt he have shirt on??
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10-09-2010 12:49
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frolicking in the meadow over yonder.
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10-09-2010 12:04
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donating money to various GAY FRIENDLY groups in the name of the Westboro Baptist church.
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10-09-2010 10:38
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If at first you DO succeed, someone's probably going to think you cheated.
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10-09-2010 09:32 by
Marshall the Great
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"Don't Give a Crap Day" is tomorrow. But nobody gives a crap so there aren't any cards.
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10-09-2010 09:31 by
Marshall the Great
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If a person smiles all the time, they're probably selling something that doesn't work.
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10-09-2010 09:29 by
Marshall the Great
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I sometimes go to my own little world, but that's okay, they know me there.
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10-09-2010 09:27 by
Marshall the Great
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How long before I can convince you all that it's my birthday again?
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10-09-2010 09:22 by
Marshall the Great
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Excuses: Elementary School - "He started it!" Middle School - "It was a dare!" High School - "I was drunk."
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10-09-2010 09:21 by
Marshall the Great
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Spellcheck? I just type the words into the Google Toolbar and see if it corrects me.
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10-09-2010 09:19 by
Marshall the Great
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