Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5501 of 6384
“Playtime is over, worktime has be-gun!” – Stewie Griffin
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10-24-2010 14:56
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was about to put on my white jeans then realized it's after Labour Day. Phew, what a fashion mistake that would have been. I put on my acid washed jeans and leg warmers instead.
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10-24-2010 14:56
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always look on the bright side. For example, don't think of yourself as an ugly person, think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.
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10-24-2010 14:54
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going to have to start following my brain. Clearly, my heart is an idiot.
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10-24-2010 14:53
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‘s computer is sooo slooow. It must be running Windows B.C.
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10-24-2010 14:52
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Dear Taylor Swift, Kanye took your microphone not your virginity. Let's move on...
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10-24-2010 14:52
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credits Tetris for the speed and agility I display when loading the dishwasher.
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10-24-2010 14:51
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thought they put covers on books so I COULD judge them.
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10-24-2010 14:50
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The internet: where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are the police.
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10-24-2010 14:50
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just watched a show about a person who was addicted to pizza. I believe the technical name for this condition is "normal."
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10-24-2010 14:49
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If you don't like the fire, don't tickle the dragon.
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10-24-2010 14:48
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Give me patience, and GIVE IT TO ME NOW!
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10-24-2010 14:47
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Did you know that if you plug your nose and close your mouth, you can't hum? Try it.
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10-24-2010 14:47
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Everyone who hates speeding tickets, raise your right foot.
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10-24-2010 14:46
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If I had a nickel for everytime someone asked if I was bad at math, I'd have 62 cents.
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10-24-2010 14:45
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You sacrifice. You fight injustice. You think you're making a difference. Then you find out Snooki has a book deal.
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10-24-2010 14:45
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wishes she had a theme song whenever she did something awesome.
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10-24-2010 14:44
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"Username or Password Incorrect" Couldn't you just tell me which one?
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10-24-2010 14:43
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THEY'RE going THERE with THEIR friends…it's not rocket science.
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10-24-2010 14:43
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will never understand rich people with messed up teeth.
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10-24-2010 14:42
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