Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5446 of 6385
has a feeling that the so-called "Highway To Hell" looks just like a Wal-Mart parking lot
She doesn't trust him an inch. If she doesn't find any strange hairs on his jackets she just accuses him of having an affair with a bald woman.
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11-11-2010 17:48
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I have a small request to make to you. Can I borrow your face for a few days? My ass is going on a holiday.
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11-11-2010 17:34
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Ur mama is so ugly when she walks past the bathroom the toilet flushes itself.
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11-11-2010 17:29
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ok, so what do you call a fish with no eyes? a fsh!
And ps... you should'nt sing a song with an "s" in the title if you have a lithp!
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11-11-2010 17:01 by Boo
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Oh yes Gwyneth Paltrow, you are so very country strong. I guess being born in LA, going to private school NYC and attending college in Santa Barbara really prepared ya.
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11-11-2010 17:00
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heard that the new George W Bush book is a pop-up picture book. At first I laughed, then I realized it made perfect sense. My professors always taught me "write for your audience". So kudos Gdub. Mission accomplished...
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11-11-2010 16:50
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I'm not a tease. I just sobered up thats all.
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11-11-2010 16:48
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What do you call a pig with 3 eyes...??? A Piiig!...Stupid yes, but you know you'll tell it.
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11-11-2010 16:46 by Boo
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I read at the end of the 20th century all Blacks were offered exodus from US slavery the only requirement was a boat ride back to Africa. But we know how blacks feel about water, ergo: they stayed!
My Mom just said "I'm still hot! It just comes in flashes!"
Having lunch with a man named Jack... Jack Daniels
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11-11-2010 15:40
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I finally friended my wife on Facebook to get updates on our relationship.
Dear automatic paper towel dispenser mechanic, could you please program this nifty devise to dispense more than just enough paper towel to dry my pinky..... Thanks!
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11-11-2010 15:18 by robs0776
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GOVERMENT: The subtle name given to a large mafia, taking protection money and a good per...centage of your paycheck just for living on their turf.
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11-11-2010 15:15
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wondering if you knew the the bird IS the word
The good thing about multiple personalities is that if you collect enough of them you're prepared for any situation
on this Veterans Day, president Obama is in Indonesia. Shouldn't he be at Arlington honoring the Vets??
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11-11-2010 14:23
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A Careless Man: What the Bush Memoir Reveals
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11-11-2010 13:30
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