Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5392 of 6386
...When she walked away her ass looked like 2 midgets fighting under a blanket.
If you can't laugh at yourself... I will gladly do it for you.
I wore a leather jacket and a lady said a cow was murdered for that... I said so you were a witness now I have to kill you too.
Dear Lord, Please give us back Leslie Neilson and will let you have Justin Beiber, Richard Simmons, or Snooki......your pick
←Rate |
11-29-2010 09:49 by John
Comments (0)
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
Two Beer or not Two beer. William ShakesBEER
←Rate |
11-29-2010 09:39
Comments (0)
It's not easy being humble when you're flawless.
If vegetarians love animals so much, why do they eat all their food?
←Rate |
11-29-2010 09:02
Comments (1)
Life is less like a box of chocolate and more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.
I don't know why you put your boat in Sh!t Creek to begin with.
←Rate |
11-29-2010 08:49
Comments (0)
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
←Rate |
11-29-2010 08:41 by dunno
Comments (0)
MONDAY: Mentally Overworked, Nauseated, Dysfunctional And Yucky
←Rate |
11-29-2010 08:28 by Legarzia
Comments (0)
alright ladies...time to put down the booze n get busy on theses dishes...
←Rate |
11-29-2010 08:10
Comments (0)
"Nice Beaver." Simple, yet effective. RIP Leslie Nielsen. Your classic comedy movies will continue to make us laugh.
←Rate |
11-29-2010 07:45
Comments (1)
heard that frank Drebin died today. It couldnt have been Nordberg that killed him because OJ doesnt kill people
←Rate |
11-29-2010 06:08
Comments (0)
The camera adds 10 pounds. Reality adds 20.
←Rate |
11-29-2010 05:55
Comments (0)
Leslie Neilsen died?! Surely you can't be serious?!
←Rate |
11-29-2010 03:33 by Dubbie
Comments (1)
Surely he's not dead! He is. And stop calling me Shirley. R.I.P. Leslie Neilsen.
←Rate |
11-29-2010 03:31 by Scarlet
Comments (0)
If you worry about all the bridges you burn in life, you will never get across the river.
wish I can do , what CAL LIGHTMAN can ;-)
←Rate |
11-29-2010 01:21
Comments (0)