Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5348 of 6386
an apathetic sociopath - I'd kill you if I cared.
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12-15-2010 10:40 by Yaj
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making a list and checking it twice......Its a hit list and you do not want to be on it!
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12-15-2010 10:28
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hasn't bought a single Christmas gift yet.
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12-15-2010 10:15
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You know its a bad economy when you are getting less bang for your buck with a hooker...
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12-15-2010 10:14
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My friends keep saying that they wish there was a "dislike" button on Facebook. Personally, I would have a lot more fun with a "That's what she said" button
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12-15-2010 10:06
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All my friends keep saying they want a "dislike" button on Facebook. Personally, I think it would be a lot more fun with a "that's what she said" button
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12-15-2010 09:59
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Thank you Facebook for your new dumb layout & for me having to click my status update 52 times for it to take....
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12-15-2010 09:49
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making my list and checking it twice due to early on-set senility!
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12-15-2010 09:30 by Maureen
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doesn't think you should ever compliment a lady on her mustache... no matter how magnificent it is.
"Hello Wednesday morning....for a moment, I thought you were your friend, Friday! Forgive the disappointed look!"
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12-15-2010 08:54 by Maureen
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I Would Never Be With Someone Just Because They Were Financially Stable. I Would Rather Live In A Trash Can With The Love Of My Life, Than To Live In A Mansion With Someone That Activates My Gag Reflexes.
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12-15-2010 08:50
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dreaming of a 'backcolor=#FFFFFF' Christmas.
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12-15-2010 08:05 by markf
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If you can read this, chances are you won't be recieving a gift from me this Christmas. Happy Holidays!
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12-15-2010 07:45
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3:48 a.m. i'd like a double cheeseburger, and some fries ... 'sorry we only have breakfast'
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12-15-2010 07:41
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I tried everything last night to get the baby to sleep.Finally after 5 bottles he went down.He's going to have a bad hangover!!
once had a Hangover so bad I had to put sneakers on the cat
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12-15-2010 07:05 by Banjaxed
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now friends with Jose Cuervo
This is my cup of care \_/ oh look, IT'S F**KING EMPTY.
If an indoor shooting range is burning, what does one scream to inform them?
- I took my ex out last night. It only took one punch :)
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12-15-2010 04:58 by trickz100
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