Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5317 of 6386
When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value the only companion we will have from birth to death - ourselves
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12-29-2010 12:33
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Fubu shirt- $100 ; Rocca Wear sweatshirt- $80 ; Sean John hat- $50 ; Realizing you're white... Priceless.
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12-29-2010 12:31
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There are two things I cannot stand: racism and asians
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12-29-2010 12:22 by LOL
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I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman, but I've sure woken up with a few.
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12-29-2010 12:21 by emo
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Licking pu$sy is like playing with the mafia: one wrong move and your in deep sh*t.
I you don't go to other peoples funerals, they won't go to yours.
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12-29-2010 12:10 by cracker
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Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. ~Jane Wagner
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12-29-2010 11:00
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Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
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12-29-2010 11:00
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If normal is a relative term, then why aren't my relatives normal?
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12-29-2010 09:03 by Mike M
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A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
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12-29-2010 08:58 by TheBBB
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Hates when he gets really comfortable in bed just to relize he left the over head light on and the switch is all the way across the room
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12-29-2010 08:50
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Do yourself a favor and stay off of a scale for at least a month! Trust me...
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12-29-2010 08:45 by Mike M
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See, you think I give a sh@t.. Wrong! In fact, while you talk,I'm thinking; How can I give less of a sh@t?that's why I look so interested..
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12-29-2010 08:32 by Wolf
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If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other for silly reasons !!!... :P :D
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12-29-2010 08:26 by darsh
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Non-Alcoholic beer. It's like going down on your cousin. Tastes the same but just not right.
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12-29-2010 05:58
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took a bucket of Legos to Lowes and asked the cute manager "Let's build something together" that's when I got thrown out of Lowe's.
Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings....'
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12-29-2010 03:25
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Dear young Americans, (age group 18-25) please continue to post pictures of you partying and drinking, (some of you underage). It will make it easier for a future employer to decide whether to hire you or not
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12-29-2010 00:15
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Word of advice, Saying "Nice Hand" at an amputee poker fund raiser is NOT a good idea!
82 notifications later and I regret liking your status. :|
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12-28-2010 23:26
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