Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon not trying to be rude, but this lady in front of the line looks like she is mixed with mongoose.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 19:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you look up “cool” in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of me. I like to deface dictionaries.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 18:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Time to be an adult and give up my bath time rubber ducky. I'm upgrading to the tugboat!
←Rate | 01-26-2011 18:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon the ancient myans predicted the end of the world in 2012...But mankind can barely predict a 5 day weather forecast....This is some bull sh*t!
←Rate | 01-26-2011 18:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Helmet strapped down, crayons sharpened, it's going to be a great day!
←Rate | 01-26-2011 17:36 by Dunno Comments (0)  


   messageicon When someone tries to impress you, it means they're impressed by you.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 15:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't take anything you say seriously. You're just an idiot who has internet access.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 15:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've changed the lock on my heart.. So stick the old key up your ass.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 15:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lawsuit claims Taco Bell tacos only 35% real beef. I think I speak for all of us when I say wow that much?
←Rate | 01-26-2011 15:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Yep it is that time of year when some of us hate tax time!!! Thanks too the goverment you will get my money again this year!!!! Hope you will enjoy it
←Rate | 01-26-2011 15:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon is just me, or does anyone else's cold medina taste a little funky?
←Rate | 01-26-2011 15:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey West Coast, it's the East Coast. We checked it out for you, and today isn't worth getting up for. Go ahead and sleep in.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 14:19 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're having trouble with using the correct your/you're, just use “ur” because ur a moron!
←Rate | 01-26-2011 14:10 by lemonpillow Comments (2)  


   messageicon Taco Bell putting Fritos in there Burrito..... then Subway should stack chips in there subs .. am just saying
←Rate | 01-26-2011 14:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon getting a restraining order on Old Man Winter
←Rate | 01-26-2011 14:07 by kman Comments (0)  


   messageicon How do you spell "clitoris"? I don't know but I had it on the tip of my tongue a moment ago.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 14:05 by lemonpillow Comments (5)  


   messageicon Dear FB users, quit using lower case i's and quit putting them right in front (with no space) of the next consonant....it's not cute anymore.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 13:58 by @mntnbikerbw Comments (2)  


   messageicon a Japanese Atheist. He doesn't believe in Godzilla.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 13:48 by Joe Comments (0)  


   messageicon From what I can tell, a Boomerang is just a Frisbee for people who don't have any friends...
←Rate | 01-26-2011 13:30 by scottyp Comments (3)  


   messageicon Boy.... That sure is a lot of attitude for someone wearing panda ear rings.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 13:22 Comments (0)  




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