SEAN Funny Status Messages



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Page: 13 of 38

   messageicon I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people would manage their stupidity
←Rate | 08-22-2013 15:15 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I never said she was a prostitute, all I said was she used her panties as ankle warmers!
←Rate | 08-22-2013 15:14 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being alive is so expensive.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 11:09 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon “You’re beautiful the way you are, ladies. Just kidding, you need to buy this stuff.” – commercials
←Rate | 08-20-2013 11:08 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We have to get together sometime!" is a just another way of saying, "I regret running into you."
←Rate | 08-20-2013 11:08 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Michelangelo seems like a genius until you realize he spent hours of his life carving a dude's pubes out of marble.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 11:07 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Chris Brown said he might retire from music. That sure is going to leave him with a lot of time on his fists.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 11:06 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Girls get so mad when you point out that their stupid friends are stupid.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 11:03 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you're ignorant and make bad decisions.
←Rate | 08-20-2013 11:01 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Went fishing before the strip club, first time I've smelled like fish before the club...
←Rate | 08-20-2013 11:00 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Come on guys! I've had to deactivate facebook due to the pressure
←Rate | 08-11-2013 07:42 by Sean Comments (0)  


   messageicon Let's be honest. The only reason I listen to my voice-mail messages is to make the stupid icon disappear.
←Rate | 07-09-2013 13:25 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon If an Elvis impersonator dies, doesn't he kind of become the best Elvis impersonator?
←Rate | 07-09-2013 13:22 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’m starting to think I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my own home.
←Rate | 07-09-2013 13:20 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I imagine homeless people aren't the biggest fans of little dogs wearing sweaters.
←Rate | 07-09-2013 13:19 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo. Who has hair on their shoulders. Who's shampooing their shoulder hair. Please come forward.
←Rate | 07-09-2013 13:13 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon James Gandolfini is dead of a heart attack and Dick Cheney is alive and well. So go ahead and remove "karma" from the dictionary.
←Rate | 06-29-2013 00:54 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't get how holding the door for a stranger is polite but flushing the urinal for them isn't.
←Rate | 06-27-2013 08:39 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Herpes!"-What I see when your Facebook status says "Vegas, baby!"
←Rate | 06-27-2013 08:36 by SEAN Comments (0)  


   messageicon I was going to start running today but then I decided to eat 6 tacos instead.
←Rate | 06-27-2013 08:31 by SEAN Comments (0)  




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