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SEAN Funny Status Messages
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Page: 13 of 38
I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people would manage their stupidity
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08-22-2013 15:15 by
SEAN
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I never said she was a prostitute, all I said was she used her panties as ankle warmers!
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08-22-2013 15:14 by
SEAN
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Being alive is so expensive.
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08-20-2013 11:09 by
SEAN
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“You’re beautiful the way you are, ladies. Just kidding, you need to buy this stuff.” – commercials
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08-20-2013 11:08 by
SEAN
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"We have to get together sometime!" is a just another way of saying, "I regret running into you."
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08-20-2013 11:08 by
SEAN
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Michelangelo seems like a genius until you realize he spent hours of his life carving a dude's pubes out of marble.
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08-20-2013 11:07 by
SEAN
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Chris Brown said he might retire from music. That sure is going to leave him with a lot of time on his fists.
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08-20-2013 11:06 by
SEAN
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Girls get so mad when you point out that their stupid friends are stupid.
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08-20-2013 11:03 by
SEAN
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Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you're ignorant and make bad decisions.
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08-20-2013 11:01 by
SEAN
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Went fishing before the strip club, first time I've smelled like fish before the club...
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08-20-2013 11:00 by
SEAN
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Come on guys! I've had to deactivate facebook due to the pressure
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08-11-2013 07:42 by
Sean
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Let's be honest. The only reason I listen to my voice-mail messages is to make the stupid icon disappear.
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07-09-2013 13:25 by
SEAN
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If an Elvis impersonator dies, doesn't he kind of become the best Elvis impersonator?
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07-09-2013 13:22 by
SEAN
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I’m starting to think I buy bananas just to watch them die a slow death in my own home.
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07-09-2013 13:20 by
SEAN
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I imagine homeless people aren't the biggest fans of little dogs wearing sweaters.
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07-09-2013 13:19 by
SEAN
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Why is there Head & Shoulders shampoo. Who has hair on their shoulders. Who's shampooing their shoulder hair. Please come forward.
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07-09-2013 13:13 by
SEAN
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James Gandolfini is dead of a heart attack and Dick Cheney is alive and well. So go ahead and remove "karma" from the dictionary.
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06-29-2013 00:54 by
SEAN
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I don't get how holding the door for a stranger is polite but flushing the urinal for them isn't.
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06-27-2013 08:39 by
SEAN
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"Herpes!"-What I see when your Facebook status says "Vegas, baby!"
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06-27-2013 08:36 by
SEAN
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I was going to start running today but then I decided to eat 6 tacos instead.
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06-27-2013 08:31 by
SEAN
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