pj Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon never settle for awesome when you can be super-awesome.
←Rate | 09-10-2009 01:48 by PJ | Tags: Filtered Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life and Wife are two similar words ..... but if you have one, you can't have the other!!!
←Rate | 07-26-2011 09:48 by pj Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
←Rate | 10-12-2011 18:24 by pj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Earlier this year I saw "The Theory of Everything" - loved it. Should've been called "Look Who's Hawking", that's my only criticism"
←Rate | 08-25-2015 07:13 by pj Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't swim because it's never 30 minutes after the last time I ate.
←Rate | 05-23-2017 21:40 by Pj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looking into the mirror...I realize, I'm in no shape to fend off an alien invasion
←Rate | 05-24-2017 15:05 by Pj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Interviewer: You ever do time? Me: I've mixed basil with weed, even freebased oregano, but I've never done thyme. Interviewer: I meant in jail, but I think we're done here.
←Rate | 05-24-2017 15:07 by Pj Comments (2)  


   messageicon I'll be doing book signings today at Barnes & Noble until they kick me out for writing in random books.
←Rate | 05-24-2017 16:54 by pj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hang out with people you want holding your hand when your heart stops.
←Rate | 05-25-2017 18:08 by Pj Comments (1)  


   messageicon The secret to happiness is a good sense of humor and a bad memory.
←Rate | 05-25-2017 18:12 by Pj Comments (1)  


   messageicon Now you got me asking myself? Why does Disco Music give me Night Fever and the Heebie Bee Gees Bees?
←Rate | 05-25-2017 22:35 by Pj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whoever has voodoo doll of me, please have me clean the house and then recline me on the couch.
←Rate | 05-31-2017 18:08 by Pj Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish the media and politicians would stop jumping to delusions.
←Rate | 07-14-2017 18:58 by Pj Comments (0)  


   messageicon OJ said he has lived a conflict free life. Unless, he thinks you are or our have his property. Then watch out. Things get crazy.
←Rate | 07-20-2017 20:10 by Pj Comments (0)  


   messageicon [at restaurant] Wife: I'm having an affair. Husband: *handing menu back to waiter* I'll have the affair as well.
←Rate | 07-20-2017 20:32 by Pj Comments (0)  


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