Markf Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon waiting for Congress to demand hearings on the $45M bailout and golden parachute for Conan O'Brien. Oh wait, we only do that for CEOs of large companies - my bad.
←Rate | 01-25-2010 02:44 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon just realized you can re-arrange the letters in Federal Stimulus to spell "Failed Result Sum."
←Rate | 01-31-2010 07:31 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks Obama could help solve the Toyota crisis by raising the federal speed limit to 120 mph
←Rate | 02-04-2010 16:26 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon can't figure out why the Toyota Prius owners would be worried about brakes, since the car can't go fast enough to hurt anything anyway.
←Rate | 02-04-2010 16:29 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks Toyota should change its motto from "Moving Forward" to "MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!"
←Rate | 02-04-2010 16:31 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon supports the elderly by watching the Superbowl Halftime show.
←Rate | 02-08-2010 11:36 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering if when geriatrics Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend sing, "Who are you?" it has a whole different meaning now.
←Rate | 02-08-2010 13:05 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon relieved that even tho 230,000 government workers couldn't make it past the blizzard to work in DC this week, the country has somehow managed to continue as if nothing happened.
←Rate | 02-10-2010 10:04 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon thinks it's funny that Evolutionists believe enough million monkeys will eventually type out a literary work. Facebook has proven this wrong.
←Rate | 02-15-2010 19:37 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon watching today the bare-knuckled, bruising clash between competitors vying to win recognition for their national pride. Then President Obama dismissed the Healthcare summit and I watched the Olympics.
←Rate | 02-25-2010 21:42 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon glad to hear that SeaWorld is reopening its "safer" shows this week featuring Norman, the Involuntary Manslaughter Whale.
←Rate | 03-01-2010 07:51 by markf Comments (1)  

   messageicon going over to the dark side...I figure it's just a burnt lightbulb needs replacing.
←Rate | 03-09-2010 22:40 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon just had a work email from someone asking to "bare with me" until the system is back up. I replied that I didn't see how nudity would fix the problem.
←Rate | 03-10-2010 11:02 by markf Comments (2)  

   messageicon sure now that after Mark Zuckerberg (founder of Facebook) was just announced as the youngest billionaire on Forbe's list, his mom doesn't tell him he's spending too much time on Facebook.
←Rate | 03-11-2010 09:44 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon cautious. There is a "Stop Time" button on the microwave that was probably supposed to read "Stop Timer" but I don't press it, just in case.
←Rate | 03-16-2010 11:39 by markf Comments (1)  

   messageicon sometimes stops when walking into a store, waiting for the automatic doors to open. Then I realize they aren't automatic.
←Rate | 03-18-2010 07:38 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon snuck his daughter's phone and changed his contact info to Batman. Now it's a little more exciting when she gets a text like 'get ready. picking you up in 5 mins.
←Rate | 03-22-2010 08:51 by markf Comments (1)  

   messageicon once watched a movie for 30 minutes waiting for a commercial so he could grab a snack -- then remembered it was a DVD.
←Rate | 03-24-2010 23:04 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon saw a man get out of his convertible at Wal-Mart yesterday, take two steps and then turn back to lock the doors. I chuckled because the top was down.
←Rate | 03-26-2010 09:03 by markf Comments (0)  

   messageicon realizes he is too apologetic sometimes. Sorry.
←Rate | 03-30-2010 12:50 by markf Comments (0)  


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