Talsier Funny Status Messages

   found an alien, gave it some roofies, now I'm gonna probe it then stick back where I found it! Maybe it'll tell stories of being abducted!

   just read a sign on the highway that says "Observe Warning signs! State Law". if you don't observe warning signs, you wont see it. Just curious....WHAT IS THE POINT!?!

   Never hit a man with glasses! A baseball bat does the job MUCH better!

   this morning I came to my senses.......I didn't like it....very unfamiliar...very strange......I liked it better not having them....not going back there.

   'It's not the crazy people I fear, but the large groups of normal ones! '' ~Shane Coleman

   I've said it before and I'll say it again! Those are not my toys, and I don't know why they're in my bedroom! ;-)

   wondering if it's bad when the cops knock on your door, and two others go around back..........and they have a camera crew..

   found out that they don't like you to wear roller skates in the mall! Or maybe they were mad cuz I didn't have pants on...not sure which one.

   ..sometimes at work, I like to stand behind one of the employees that has no sense of humor and wait till the owner comes by, then I start laughing out loud at their computer monitor as if they were looking at something funny online rather than working..

   isn't it funny that when your internet goes down, your computer becomes completely uninteresting anymore? ........and you actually wanna go out and have a life?

   Girlfriends are like wildcats.....they can't be housebroken and they can smell that stripper perfume from a mile away!

   When you send me a message that starts off "I remember how much fun we had!" in your friend request...Please take the profile picture of your grandmother with the new baby down. That scares the hell out of me!

   I always like to keep a "trial size" hand sanitizer with me at all times. Not to keep my hands clean, but in case I have to "fake" sneeze on the back of someones head for being an idot or slow.

   I hate it when elderly women try to trick you. Like when they make chocolate chip cookies, and you take a bite only to notice it's filled with raisins and not chocolate chips! EVIL I tell you ...those cheapskates!

   When the doctor says "drop your pants" I can never resist the urge to say "ooooohhh....Kinkeh!"