Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   It may be the early bird that gets the worm. But it?s the second mouse that gets the cheese.

   eating mushrooms and chasing white rabbits.

   tired of chasing his dreams. I'm just going to ask where they are going and hook up with them later.

   only here while supplies last

   wants a hug

   busier than a cucumber in a woman's prison.

   pretty fly for a white guy

   Mclovin' it.

   what Willis was talking about...

   "the center of attention, even when he's up against the wall"

   just not the same since that house fell on my sister

   here..now what are your other two wishes????

   proof that God has a sense of humor...

   normal..it's everyone else that's weird.

   still HOT..it just comes in flashes now

   dangerously under-medicated

   back..by popular demand!

   cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

   getting a grip on reality..and choking it to death

   suffering from insanity...and enjoying every minute of it!