Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   ate 3.14159265358979323846ths of a pi

   says if silence is golden, then no more Billy Mays is priceless.

   "another Celebrity just went KABOOM!". Will tell you who it is for just $19.95, here's how to order.

   says the show must go on...please move on...enough of michael jackson in my news feed...

   just discovered that in Wingdings 2, the letters "M" and "J" are a white glove and a black hand. Michael Jackson conspiracy theory number 1...

   they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!

   counting it down..only 54749 days until Bernie Madoff gets out of Jail.

   I can feel guilty about the past, apprehensive about the future, but only in the present can I act!

   hopes he can buy Billy Mays beard, that thang is magnificent!

   I hear MJ was on a number of rx drugs, weighed 112lbs, and could barely speak moments before his death. where can I get my wife that prescription?

   Got out of jury duty by prefacing every answer with "according to the prophecy"

   in a relationship with Farrah. X changed his relationship status to "complicated

   created an idiot proof facebook status, click >HERE< to see it

   am I the only person who thinks Michael Jackson isn't dead ..... he's just hiding with Elvis.

   It takes 10 people to change a lightbulb because 9 of us are on Facebook.

   stares at you when you're asleep.

   wants to be adopted by Madonna too

   believes a day spent wasted is never a wasted day!

   so good, I can cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes.

   Marriage is Love, yet love is blind....Does that mean marriage is an institution for the blind???