Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   drinking tequila in the shower....09:07 AM

   Thinks your so vain you proberly think this status is about you!

   Some People are like slinkies,, not good for anything, but fun to watch tunmble down stairs(:

   blames it on the alcohol.

   lives in a pineapple under the sea.

   wants to be a millionaire.

   hitting you one more time baby.

   looks life a flower but stings like a bee.

   celebating....aaaaaah! crap I forgot an R! I am celebrating

   your father smells of elder berries

   in your garden, peeing on your tomatoes...

   going over his plans for world domination and all those who have crossed him in the past will be unmercifully slaughtered....have a great day!!

   100 percent natural

   thought he had Swine Flu....it turns out he was just really bored

   playing musical electric chairs

   has a confirmed case of Swine Flu....it was spotted when his tail began to curl.!!

   thought I saw a puddy cat!

   thinks the Media is just milking the negitivity in this Swine Flu situation. On the plus side, there is now recession beating prices on Mexican pork chops.

   lets party like its 2012....oh wait...

   thinks the future isn't quite what it used to be