Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   playing strip solitaire.

   thinks webbed feet are a huge turn-on.

   dangerous to your health.

   doesn't want to grow up.... he's a Toys R' Us kid!

   s eating out.... At home. ;-)

   disobeyed orders

   going to DEFCON 4

   the reason for the tear drops on your guitar

   would so kill herself if she believed in reincarnation.

   don't drink and drive, you could spill the beer in your car.

   two wrongs don't make a right but three rights make a left....

   wonders if the people who spend £2 each on those Evian bottles know that backwards it spells Naive..

   A.D.D stands for Attention Deficite....hey look a butterfly!

   wonders if dyslexic devil worshipers sell their soul to Santa

   wondering what the hell Jesus ever did for Santa on his Birthday?

   got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others.

   would imagine if you could understand Morse Code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy.

   the person your mom warned you about!

   playing a Rusty Trombone

   shot a man in Reno just to watch him die