Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him, "If you don't mind, I'd like a second opinion." He said, "All right. You're ugly too!"

   I don't know about you, but a highlight of my childhood was talking into the fan to hear my robot voice.

   Every phone should have the same charger!

   Everything's funnier when you're supposed to be quiet.

   Goodbye doesn't mean 'forever'. That's why I'll make you swallow the 'BYE' and give the 'GOOD' to me again.

   No matter how many times I watch Titanic I'm 100% sure that if they had tried harder, Jack would've fit perfectly fine on that floating headboard.

   don't write on your facebook wall so you can comment on it. I write on your wall so you will write back on mine and make me seem more popular. Work with me here.

   "I had to walk to school 40 miles in the snow... barefoot" was good in it's day. But imagine the sheer terror on your kid's face when you drop "When I was born there was no internet".

   it just me, or are the people who claim they hate drama actually the most dramatic people I know?

   Every bar bathroom should have a cupholder.

   "if you dont expect anything, you wont be let down"- Magean Brents

   "Few men have d natural strength to honour a friend's success without envy."

   "Maturity is simply the wisdom to determine da right time to be a kid and da right time to be an adult."

   The cows in the meadow go moo the cows in the meadow go moo and then along comes a farmer and whacks them in the head. and that's how we get Hamburger

   "you should change your name to LEGO cuz your about to get BLOCKED!!:!"- Magean L. Brents

   ★ just call me tootsie.. because you know how I roll ★ - Magean Brents

   If everyday is a gift, then where's her reciept. She would like to exchange Monday for Satruday

   ̿̿̿ ̿' ̿'̵͇̿̿з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿'̿ ̿ this is a stick-up... give me ALL yo [̲̅$̲̅(̲̅1̲̅)̲̅$̲̅]!

   ♬ ♫ ♪ ılıll|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|̲̅̅=̲̅̅|̲̅̅●̲̅̅|llılı ♪ ♫ ♬♪♫ Rock On \,,\(^_^)/,,/

   Go to Google. Type in "Ewmew Fudd". Click "I'm feeling lucky". You're welcome.