Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   brought to you in full digital and is giving out coupons for your box.

   turning on Airplane mode on his iPhone but can't figure out why it still won't fly!

   your father's brother's nephew's cousin's sister's uncle's brother's friend's second cousin's former roommate on your mothers side.

   out of beta, and is releasing on time

   once shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die

   [this comment has been removed due to legal action by the Church of Scientology]

   wants a sham wow

   rated E for everyone.

   reading the first 100 pages of the Economic Stimulus Plan!

   Available in 'Small' Medium' and 'Large'

   wears her sunglasses at night

   the limit of the variable approaching perfection.

   fighting the financial crisis

   somewhere over the rainbow

   it turns out, is not a jedi :(

   so fine, he's so fine he blows your mind.

   life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain

   save a horse, ride a chupacabra

   THOUGHT about getting outta bed, still thinking, still thinking

   sometimes your the windshield; sometimes your the bug.