Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   going to the store. Do you want anything?

   hates the status quo.

   "out of ideas, like this message. "

   hates what you're wearing

   HD Ready

   "making plans for tonight, want to be part of them? "

   got bitten by a mosquito and I liked it

   should be arrested for being awesome.

   """Turns out I'm not a Jedi after all"" "

   not the weakest link

   launching a nuclear missile!

   "too fast, but not really that furious "

   phoning a friend

   alive

   "likes it when people call him ""kitten"" "

   what she said

   wants you and your beautiful soul

   thinks you are wasting her time

   allergic to liars

   more frustrated than an Amish electrician