Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   writing her acceptance speech for the upcoming Grammy's.

   going back to the future

   going around in circles

   almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left him before they met.

   eating pasta with chopsticks.

   let the dogs out

   had his left side removed. He's all right now

   "focus- Oh look, a squirrel! "

   I just wish my mouth had a backspace key

   in your mum's extended network.

   wearing spray on pants.

   shaking it like a Polaroid picture.

   the bear necessities.

   what really sank the titanic.

   Growing old but never up

   making a list of why you suck

   a Figment of your imagination

   " to be taken three times a day, with water "

   NOT the father!

   has 99 problems don't become the 100th one