Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert has revealed to Rolling Stone magazine that he's gay. In other news, Barack Obama is black, Paris Hilton is kind of slutty, and Clay Aiken is also gay.

   saving a lot on car insurance by switching to Geico. (singing) I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE SOMEBODY'S WATCHING MEEEEEEE..

   its right what they say fruit is good for constipation. I got my phone bill this morning from orange and I nearly s**t myself.

   trying to think of ways to coax the gerbil out. Shoulda known they could chew through a sock

   On this Thanksgiving I'm thankful for family and friends and the fact I don't have to wear Depends. I'm thankful for hard alcohol and seeing friends at the Mall, But most of all I'm thankful for turkey and stuffin' and SWEET, SWEET HOT LOVIN'!!!!

   Sex,Drugs & Sausage Rolls.

   thinks mother nature is bi-polar and is off her meds!!

   to be a roadie,, get on the roads not on a stupid tv show!!!

   has just read his wife's magazines and there seems to be two topics of major importance to women: .1) Why men are such disgusting pigs and .2) How to attract a man!

   the only time love comes before sex is in the dictionary.

   Thanksgiving is the one day each year day families get together…and remind themselves why they only get together once a year.

   May contain nuts.

   Happy Thanksgivings...Screw the turkey, I want to stuff my woman...

   filthy,stinking rich. Well,two out of three ain't bad.

   Hangovers: the wrath of grapes.

   So stick that in your juice box & suck it!!

   I celebrate Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invite everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we have an enormous feast, and then I kill them and take their land.

   loves animals... especially in gravy

   I beat up a Ninja once...True story.

   May your stuffing be tasty, may your turkey be plump, may your potatoes and gravy have a nary lump. May your yams be delicious, And your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs! HAPPY THANKSGIVING ALL..........