Lemonpillow Funny Status Messages
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I have a dentist appointment tomorrow. Which means I have nineteen hours to do six months of flossing.
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One day, you come home and everything has changed, like the locks.
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With my iPad in my lap, I feel so fresh. All over.
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The iPad: protecting your data from embarrassing incidents.
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I just committed the perfect crime. I stopped paying my shrink. He took me to court. I pleaded insanity.
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A child is like a mosquito: when it stops making a noise,you know it's up to something.
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I'm as nervous as a postman at a dog show.
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Hard work never killed anyone but i'm hoping my boss will be the first.
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n't air travel wonderful? Breakfast in London, dinner in New York, luggage in Brazil..
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I wonder that when a bird gets a blow to the head,does it see a circle of flying humans?
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To err is divine. To blame it on someone else shows management potential.
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I went to the bookshop and asked "How much are your "For Dummies" books?" The guy replied "How much ya got?"
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This "fancy" wine rack I got for Christmas is total crap. NONE of these boxes fit at all
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When setting the table, does the remote control go to the left, to the right or over the dinner plate?
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Many things can be preserved in alcohol. Dignity is not one of them.
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I believe in taking the bull by the horns. Then I believe in steering it in the direction of whoever is bugging me.
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..is so poor, she can't even afford to window shop.
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I love your approach. Now let's see about your departure.
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Of course,men can multitask. They read on the toilet.
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Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts.
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