nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   Ask a meteorologist who will win the Superbowl......then go with the other team ;-)

   I'm glad it's college football season again, now we have an excuse to drink at 9:00 AM on a Saturday.

   I get tired of all the drama of family getting mad and running out the door every Thanksgiving! I believe a man is allowed to watch football naked in his own house!

   Dearest Neighbors, Please do NOT call the police, it’s not domestic violence or a wild party. It’s football season, that’s just me screaming at my TV.

   This lifelong football fan now has an extra 3 hours to do projects and other tasks like shopping on Sundays from now on.

   Football ~ The legal way to buy a nigggaa.

   Men in 20's play football, men in 30's play cricket and men in their 40's play Golf. Have you noticed the older the men the smaller the balls?

   When Jimmy Garoppolo said he watches a lot of film, I thought it was talking about football

   The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public :-)

   On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.

   Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I also accept gifts in the form of beer, casual sex and football tickets

   Superbowl: the only time in a year that you tell people to be quiet because a commercial is on.

   Next years Superbowl has been changed to Motel 6. They'll leave the lights on.

   It's pretty sad when the highlight of a three hour football game is out staged by a red m&m."

   If I could pick winning football teams half as well as I pick the stupidest, slowest cashier in Walmart, I could afford to shop elsewhere.

   hates it when he goes to a Vuvuzela concert and people start playing football...

   We bought an 82 inch TV. Football: awesome Porn: terrifying

   You post constant status updates about what TV show you're watching and what you're eating for dinner. You're not allowed to whine when people get excited for football once a week.

   Analysts say Obama's new immigration plan will focus on deporting violent criminals. So, this could impact your fantasy football team.

   Peggy - "Tell me you love me, Al - "I love football, I love beer, let's not cheapen the meaning of the word."