nfl OR football OR superbowl Funny Status Messages

   I get tired of all the drama of family getting mad and running out the door every Thanksgiving! I believe a man is allowed to watch football naked in his own house!

   Men in 20's play football, men in 30's play cricket and men in their 40's play Golf. Have you noticed the older the men the smaller the balls?

   Next years Superbowl has been changed to Motel 6. They'll leave the lights on.

   If I could pick winning football teams half as well as I pick the stupidest, slowest cashier in Walmart, I could afford to shop elsewhere.

   A girl wearing a pink jersey is not a fan of football. She's just trying to bang someone who is.

   The reason women don't play football is because eleven of them would never wear the same outfit in public :-)

   Thanks for all the birthday wishes. I also accept gifts in the form of beer, casual sex and football tickets

   On the highway, getting passed by a minivan is the football equivalent to getting tackled by the kicker.

   Superbowl: the only time in a year that you tell people to be quiet because a commercial is on.

   It's pretty sad when the highlight of a three hour football game is out staged by a red m&m."

   You post constant status updates about what TV show you're watching and what you're eating for dinner. You're not allowed to whine when people get excited for football once a week.

   OK ladies....College football starts tonight!! You may now start to cheat, shop or whatever.....Just shut up and stay out of the Man Cave!!

   hates it when he goes to a Vuvuzela concert and people start playing football...

   Analysts say Obama's new immigration plan will focus on deporting violent criminals. So, this could impact your fantasy football team.

   Watching Cameron Diaz feeding A-Rod popcorn at the superbowl made me wish I was blind.

   Peggy - "Tell me you love me, Al - "I love football, I love beer, let's not cheapen the meaning of the word."

   A lot can happen in 2mins during football.. Like 47 useless commericals..For instance..

   Why do men like football? Because the biggest priorities in football are also the biggest priorities in every man's life.... Scoring and Ball Security.

   Tony Romo tried to throw a Superbowl party but it was intercepted

   thinks if you are the fortunate one to sing our National Anthem at the SUPERBOWL, then shouldn't you at least know the lyrics? fail, BIGTIME!