jg Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon If you are really "friends" with that many people on facebook, why are you alone standing in front of a mirror taking a picture of yourself? Cant you get one of your 867 friends to take it?
←Rate | 08-29-2011 17:50 by JG Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear Mother Nature, hey, thanks [sneezes] for choosing POLLEN for plant reproduction....no, really[sneezes]....the stuff is great.....
←Rate | 03-05-2010 22:54 by JG Comments (0)  

   messageicon doesn't get upset at broken promises; I just think, why did they believe me?
←Rate | 04-02-2010 05:00 by jg Comments (0)  

   messageicon If one more person I see says "I'll see ya next year" chances are, they wont...
←Rate | 12-30-2011 11:49 by JG Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hear some are saying beyonce was never pregnant that someone else was carrying the baby.. I bets its Destinys child...
←Rate | 01-10-2012 13:57 by JG Comments (0)  

   messageicon this just in...authorities have photographic evidence of George Bush turning a huge Icelandic Volcano Valve in his back yard,,,,I knew it...
←Rate | 04-18-2010 23:05 by JG Comments (0)  

   messageicon In response to using hay as an option to absorb the oil spill, Joe Biden said today that it was a great idea, and the seahorses and seacows would likely enjoy the delicious hay....
←Rate | 05-27-2010 18:46 by jg Comments (0)  

   messageicon the groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, did NOT see his shadow, meaning six more weeks of winter. In related news, George W. Bush was spotted blotting out the sun over North America this morning.....I'm sure he'll catch the blame, regardless.
←Rate | 02-02-2010 20:05 by JG Comments (0)  

   messageicon According to planned parenthood we have a new Pope! Welcome Pope Smear. I personally would have voted for Pope Awheelie..
←Rate | 03-13-2013 14:19 by JG Comments (0)  

   messageicon If I was a pirate, instead of having a stupid hook for one hand, I'd upgrade to some cooler attachments, like a blender, maybe a small cannon, some hedge trimmers etc.
←Rate | 04-30-2010 11:46 by jg Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was seven, I told my friend Timmy Barker I would give him a million dollars if he would eat an earthworm. He ate the worm, but I never gave him the million dollars. As of last week, all I had given him was $9,840.
←Rate | 10-30-2009 18:33 by jg Comments (0)  


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