santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Lady stabbed a guy singing Christmas Songs at the Mall. I bailed her out.
←Rate | 10-12-2019 12:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There is nothing stopping a condom company from saying they are the only condoms worn by Santa Claus
←Rate | 09-26-2019 05:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The night before the kids go back to school is the grown ups version of Christmas Eve.
←Rate | 09-02-2019 20:47 by Jsabbage Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is ridiculous its July 8th... Neighbors are still shooting off fireworks, one almost caught my Christmas decorations on fire..
←Rate | 07-08-2019 15:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now it's too hot out to take the Christmas lights down.
←Rate | 06-28-2019 19:49 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon For Sale. Slightly used Christmas tree. Price negotiable. Can pick up in front of neighbor's house.
←Rate | 01-23-2019 09:49 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon For sale: Slightly used Christmas tree. Can pick up in front of neighbors house.
←Rate | 12-28-2018 07:53 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Loving and all these Christmas photos you're posting of your families who look as joyous and festive as the family who came with a picture frame I bought a while ago, who I also don't know.
←Rate | 12-26-2018 13:21 by Moon Comments (0)  


   messageicon To avoid taking down my Christmas lights, I'm making my house into an Italian restaurant.
←Rate | 12-25-2018 21:24 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think for Christmas Mark Zuckerberg should share some of his wealth with us all we helped him make, or at least give us fonts.
←Rate | 12-24-2018 14:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know what most people are getting for Christmas? Fat.
←Rate | 12-24-2018 11:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The liquor store clerk just wished me a Merry Christmas. As if he wasn't going to see me 5 more times before then.
←Rate | 12-23-2018 07:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This whole Santa should have no gender is crap. Here is how you know Santa is a man. He shows up late, eats your cookie, empties his sack, comes only once, calls you a Ho and leaves while you're asleep.
←Rate | 12-22-2018 15:26 by Ky Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa gets all the credit and I get all the debt
←Rate | 12-22-2018 09:02 by Ky Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you like christmas so much why don't you merry it
←Rate | 12-21-2018 22:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife said I can't have a flamethrower for Christmas.
←Rate | 12-21-2018 09:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In honor of Charles Dickens I am also going to be poor this Christmas
←Rate | 12-21-2018 09:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon An easy way to tell people you don't like them is to send them a Xmas card with glitter on it.
←Rate | 12-18-2018 21:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I’d like to see a commercial where the wife receives a brand new Lexus on Christmas morning and the she turns to her husband and says "You idiot! WTF is the matter with you? We can’t afford a Lexus!"
←Rate | 12-17-2018 09:51 Comments (1)  


   messageicon When people say "Are you ready for Christmas?" I say "I'm ready for it to be over.
←Rate | 12-17-2018 07:37 Comments (1)  



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