santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon You've already put up your Christmas tree? That's nothing. I'm already drunk for St. Patrick's Day.
←Rate | 10-18-2018 03:28 by Crewz Comments (0)  


   messageicon Santa Claus uses foreign elves to make his toys. It's time to bring those jobs back to America. Huge tariffs coming to the North Pole!
←Rate | 10-10-2018 15:05 by Truman Comments (3)  


   messageicon FACT : If someone is playing Xmas music in October, you're legally allowed to kill them and use their corpse as a Halloween decoration.
←Rate | 10-03-2018 02:44 by Stevielea Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?....any scholars out there?
←Rate | 09-27-2018 01:30 Comments (2)  


   messageicon WIFE: I regret getting you that blender for Christmas. ME: {drinking toast} Why?
←Rate | 07-01-2018 11:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hacked into Santa's computer and obtain is naughty girls list........ Looks like there be no more lonely nights for me.
←Rate | 05-08-2018 20:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I guess I’ll take my Christmas tree down today.
←Rate | 03-24-2018 12:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Steam Workshop :: Zoey with Christmas Hat
←Rate | 03-12-2018 22:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You people can keep blaming your weight or tight fitting clothes on the holidays if you want, but I am not going to lie to myself, most of you were Fat in December too
←Rate | 01-20-2018 04:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Big moment here: I just finished building that gingerbread house for the holidays.
←Rate | 01-16-2018 21:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are 361 days until Christmas and people already have their lights up. This is getting ridiculous.
←Rate | 12-27-2017 08:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.
←Rate | 12-27-2017 06:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook is so dead during the holidays, I almost considered sex with my husband.
←Rate | 12-26-2017 04:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really hope that I don't get another sweater for Christmas. I'd much prefer a moaner or a screamer. lol!
←Rate | 12-24-2017 12:22 by @slopoker21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon why is Santa so jolly? Cause he knows where all the naughty girls live.
←Rate | 12-23-2017 23:21 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you said you were gay.
←Rate | 12-23-2017 01:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Spice up the holidays with random quotation marks: "Merry" Christmas to your family / Merry Christmas to "your" family / Merry Christmas to your "family"
←Rate | 12-22-2017 17:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "OK, send me your mother.
←Rate | 12-22-2017 09:12 by Erich Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever notice your Christmas stocking has just enough room for chocolates and a bottle of wine. Coincidence? I don't think soooo.
←Rate | 12-22-2017 07:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I assume nowadays the Christmas family portrait theme involves four people staring into their electronic devices next to the Christmas tree...
←Rate | 12-20-2017 09:42 by Shalam-Balam Comments (0)  



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