anonymous Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Martial law is coming. Fight for your freedom. Fight for the right to live. Stop the New World Order.
←Rate | 07-11-2013 14:07 by ANONYMOUS Comments (0)  

   messageicon going to the dark side they have cookies
←Rate | 01-09-2012 00:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon what? sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of me not giving a f***.
←Rate | 12-21-2011 08:34 by anonymous Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's bad enough that my dog picked one of the most congested streets to take a sh*t, but he had to do it in the middle of the sidewalk while people stared. Psh, puppies.
←Rate | 03-31-2011 20:37 by anonymous Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have to admit, I am a Creationist- I believe God was created by man.
←Rate | 03-13-2011 12:57 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Does anyone find themselves singing hollaback girl anytime they need to spell the word bananas?
←Rate | 01-04-2011 18:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon For Sale: 24 pedigree pigeons, call 0161 123 1234 and ask for Tyrone......
←Rate | 11-09-2010 14:10 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wondering what they are saying behind my back
←Rate | 08-11-2010 10:58 by anonymous Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sometimes I go down to the Home Depot and pick up day laborers in my truck just to have people to drink with. Hop in, amigos. It's Miller time.
←Rate | 05-19-2009 22:48 Comments (0)  

   messageicon As I'm getting older I've noticed my memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used
←Rate | 05-19-2009 20:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon guesses Chris Brown sure taught Rihanna how to breathe with "no air"
←Rate | 05-19-2009 18:38 Comments (1)  

   messageicon stuck in the moment and he can't get out of it...
←Rate | 05-19-2009 18:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon wouldnt be caught dead with a necrophiliac!
←Rate | 05-19-2009 16:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon calculating the square root of tomorrow
←Rate | 05-18-2009 23:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon not gaining weight, he's retaining food!
←Rate | 05-18-2009 23:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time". So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
←Rate | 05-18-2009 05:59 Comments (0)  

   messageicon a date with 2 Girls from 1 Cup
←Rate | 05-18-2009 01:27 Comments (0)  

   messageicon When I was a kid I used to trick the tooth fairy with kidney stones
←Rate | 05-17-2009 15:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Something you never hear in the news: "200 killed today when Atheist rebels took heavy shelling from the Agnostic stronghold in the North."
←Rate | 05-17-2009 15:42 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Shouldn't the fortune in every fortune cookie be "You are about to eat a stale cookie?"
←Rate | 05-17-2009 15:41 Comments (0)  


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