Yoda Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Whatever life throws at you, duck and let it hit someone else!
←Rate | 04-29-2016 08:44 by YODA Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today I identify as someone on welfare, so I don't have to go to work right?
←Rate | 04-26-2016 07:16 by Yoda Comments (0)  

   messageicon Today's yoga position is called "the underpaid employee"... It involves bending over and kissing ass at the same time.
←Rate | 12-04-2014 01:23 by Yoda Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sure, I'll show up at your vegetarian Halloween Party... I'll be coming as the invisible man....
←Rate | 10-28-2014 20:05 by Yoda Comments (0)  

   messageicon "Reverse cowgirl"… So you don't have to experience morning breath
←Rate | 06-19-2014 07:45 by YODA Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wanna know about people you don't need in you life? Post something with a misspelling and see how fast they "must" correct you
←Rate | 06-12-2014 23:18 by Yoda Comments (0)  

   messageicon When is "White History" month?
←Rate | 02-10-2014 17:09 by YODA Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sitting here watching the "Biggest Loser" season finale... uh, thought I would see the Broncos....
←Rate | 02-04-2014 22:23 by YODA Comments (0)  

   messageicon Did anyone tell the Broncos what time the game started?
←Rate | 02-02-2014 20:04 by Yoda Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That's common sense leaving your body....
←Rate | 01-06-2014 07:59 by YODA Comments (0)  

   messageicon The mega winner says she picked the numbers by her kids birthdays… Please tell me what month has 39 days
←Rate | 12-19-2013 09:32 by Yoda Comments (0)  

   messageicon I used to complain aobut how much a cup of coffee was at Starbucks... after seeing how much a "cup" is at the VIctoria Secret Fashion show, I'm getting a GREAT deal at Starbucks...
←Rate | 12-11-2013 05:01 by YODA Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just saw a "for lease" sign, I painted "navidad" under it ...
←Rate | 12-11-2013 04:34 by YODA Comments (0)  

   messageicon With the holidays, I'd rather check my facebook than face my checkbook...
←Rate | 12-09-2013 05:52 by YODA Comments (0)  

   messageicon There are givers and takers in this world... Takers eat better, givers sleep better
←Rate | 12-06-2013 00:32 by YODA Comments (0)  

   messageicon Alcohol does NOT make you fat, it makes you LEAN...against tables, chairs and walls...
←Rate | 12-05-2013 04:30 by YODA Comments (0)  

   messageicon I can't believe they let people own guns. Public toilets are all the proof we need that humans have horrible aim
←Rate | 12-03-2013 07:49 by YODA Comments (0)  

   messageicon If watching the big-screen TV with a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn't have couches at this Best Buy...
←Rate | 11-29-2013 12:47 by YODA Comments (1)  

   messageicon Talking to me this morning is like trying to dribble a ball with not enough air in it.
←Rate | 11-29-2013 08:44 by YODA Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you're not part of the solution, you may be part of the team I work for...
←Rate | 11-27-2013 08:09 by YODA Comments (0)  


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