Truman Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Altzheimer's Centre prepares for a party to remember!
←Rate | 09-20-2018 02:45 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can drive a woman wild with my tongue! I say..‘Have you put weight on?’
←Rate | 09-18-2018 16:41 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Inside the White House, President Trump was informed that Hurricane Florence is causing a lot of trouble. He replied “Give her the same deal we gave Stormy Daniels!”
←Rate | 09-17-2018 21:17 by Truman Comments (1)  


   messageicon Does rocking a vending machine count as exercise?
←Rate | 09-17-2018 13:00 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the B in LGTB stands for Bi doesn't that mean there are only two genders?
←Rate | 09-15-2018 20:04 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry to announce my pet mouse 'Elvis' has just died!..he was caught in a trap!
←Rate | 09-15-2018 19:26 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon My Girlfriend said she's leaving in the morning because of my "Wham" obsession! I replied... "wake me up before you go go"
←Rate | 09-15-2018 16:00 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon POLICE SKETCH ARTIST: "So he was medium build, grey hair, grey eyes, grey tie, a grey suit and grey shoes?" DOG: "Correct"
←Rate | 09-15-2018 08:01 by Truman Comments (2)  


   messageicon Bigfoot saw me yesterday but no one believes him!
←Rate | 09-14-2018 19:09 by Truman Comments (2)  


   messageicon It's not so much that I love karate as that I hate wooden - planks!
←Rate | 09-14-2018 10:27 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I read this article earlier..that said.."cows have four stomachs"...and I wondered if anyone had checked this?..because it sounds like the sort of thing a cow would come out with to get more food?
←Rate | 09-12-2018 20:39 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon My wife brought home a tub of ice-cream and asked if I wanted some. "How hard is it?" I asked. She cheekily replied, "As hard as you when you're thinking about me naked!". I said "Go on then, pour me a glass."
←Rate | 09-06-2018 01:21 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon A Prostitute new to the game was told by her pimp “No sex for the first 7 days..just wanks!” She asked.. “Why only wanks?”..her pimp said.. “Union rules!..you gotta work a week in hand!”
←Rate | 08-22-2018 08:28 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Did Stephen Hawking have a donor card? I really need some bits for my kids Go-kart that's all?
←Rate | 08-20-2018 05:29 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon My girlfriend says I spend far too much time on foreplay!...so I'd better pull my finger out!
←Rate | 08-18-2018 04:26 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well!..my survival talk to a group of backpackers went very well last night!..they were all on the edge of their seats!
←Rate | 08-03-2018 07:23 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon People spend a fortune on insect proofing their houses and buying fly-spray..then eat in the garden?
←Rate | 08-03-2018 07:13 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll bet people with Tourette's make awful anatomy teachers!!
←Rate | 07-31-2018 18:29 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon I went to view a house on a Native American reservation! "I like it" I said "Does it come with running water?" "Go to Hell Paleface" He replied.."Get your own wife!"
←Rate | 07-31-2018 09:22 by Truman Comments (0)  


   messageicon To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you're happy now!!!
←Rate | 07-30-2018 19:28 by Truman Comments (3)  

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