Linda Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon i can't sing but I do have other oral talents.
←Rate | 02-18-2014 13:39 by linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon Glittery eyeliner makes my daddy issues sparkle.
←Rate | 06-25-2012 14:35 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone's gynecologist uses the term 'battle damage,' right?
←Rate | 06-18-2012 15:06 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't mind when people make kitchen jokes about women, but when they make jokes about women driving... Well that's when I run you over.
←Rate | 06-17-2012 12:17 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just found spider crawling up my leg. I wanted to kill it but I missed so I cut off my leg instead.
←Rate | 06-16-2012 12:11 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon When a guy says he doesn't eat pu$$y,I always say...well, nothing, because he's pretty much dead to me at that point.
←Rate | 06-14-2012 10:56 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I don't look like I barely survived a natural disaster after we've had sex, you need to try harder.
←Rate | 06-14-2012 10:40 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon I usually watch porn on mute; so the neighbors can hear me climax.
←Rate | 06-11-2012 14:38 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I'm down on my knees, I'm probably not one who's begging.
←Rate | 06-08-2012 13:43 by Linda Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sometimes I squirt mayonnaise across my breasts so I don't forget what it's like to have a boyfriend.
←Rate | 06-07-2012 14:02 by Linda Comments (0)  



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