DeeX Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Everyone's all "confederate flag" this, "gay marriage" that. And I'm just sitting here waiting for the new Minions movie to come out.
←Rate | 06-27-2015 15:10 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
←Rate | 06-21-2015 03:32 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yea, gun control is awesome...if you're the one controlling the guns.
←Rate | 06-20-2015 12:40 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her: Real men like curves. Me: No. Real men like whatever the (bleep) they want.
←Rate | 06-15-2015 11:36 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon The fact that Gordon Ramsay hasn't been gutted yet is all the proof I need to know that his show is staged.
←Rate | 05-29-2015 05:52 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon The most realistic part of Avengers: Age of Ultron was Ultron deciding the human race must be destroyed after spending a few hours on the Internet.
←Rate | 05-19-2015 02:32 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today is the day that the Blues was made for. Thank you B.B. (Blues Boy) King for everything.
←Rate | 05-15-2015 04:11 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon The difference between "fetish" and "felony" is checking beforehand
←Rate | 05-08-2015 05:47 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself.
←Rate | 05-05-2015 07:13 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has Al Sharpton's presence EVER made anything better?
←Rate | 05-04-2015 07:59 by DeeX Comments (1)  


   messageicon I'm so glad television redefined the word "marathon" to mean the exact opposite of physical exercise.
←Rate | 03-19-2015 04:31 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't consider them one night stands. I prefer to call the auditions.
←Rate | 03-11-2015 06:54 by DeeX Comments (1)  


   messageicon A cop pulled me over last night. I let him off with a warning.
←Rate | 03-07-2015 07:10 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women claim to not care for looks as much as guys do but I doubt they'll go see Magic Mike or 50 Shades or Gray if it starred Steve Buscemi and Seth Rogan.
←Rate | 02-06-2015 04:59 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whitney Houston found dead in the tub, her daughter found unresponsive in a bathtub, maybe that family should start taking showers.
←Rate | 02-05-2015 17:44 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're married and having trouble, ask "what would Jesus do?" then remember that jesus was never married.
←Rate | 01-24-2015 07:12 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her: Who's your favorite Kardashian? Me: Gul Dukat.
←Rate | 01-22-2015 06:32 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon Up until 2 days ago, thanks to my news feed, I didn't even know Dean Cain was even still alive.
←Rate | 01-21-2015 10:04 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon Her: "Now, I'm going to go to the bathroom and take off my 1 pound of makeup, high heels, push-up bra, colored contacts and 3/4 of my hair and then we're going to talk about YOU being more honest."
←Rate | 11-25-2014 05:17 by DeeX Comments (0)  


   messageicon Beware the "filters on every selfie" woman.
←Rate | 11-17-2014 06:51 by DeeX Comments (0)  



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