BRian Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Happy 237th birthday America, you have achieved a level of corruption that rivals the crown we freed ourselves from.
←Rate | 07-06-2013 21:15 by Brian Comments (0)  

   messageicon I don't understand why they're making such a big deal over the Tesco burgers..... Seriously, how many times have you said I'm so hungry I could eat a horse????
←Rate | 01-24-2013 06:02 by Brian Comments (0)  

   messageicon City girls slip and slide, Country girls grip and ride!!
←Rate | 01-21-2013 10:57 by Brian Comments (0)  

   messageicon **News Flash** The real NFL refs will be back on the field tonight for the Browns/Ravens game. In other news, Footlocker hired a bunch of people and are now fully staffed again.
←Rate | 09-27-2012 18:40 by Brian Comments (0)  

   messageicon I would TGIF, but he scheduled me to work Saturday ...
←Rate | 03-07-2012 18:52 by Brian Comments (0)  

   messageicon and why, when I answered the phone, it was a guy on the other line??
←Rate | 11-04-2011 18:42 by BRian Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why, when my dad left his phone in the car his phone rang and the ringtone was "Love in this club" by Usher???
←Rate | 11-04-2011 18:41 by BRian Comments (0)  

   messageicon 4 hour naps suck! I don't even know whether it's daytime still or night time already...
←Rate | 10-13-2011 01:48 by BRian Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you're in love when you're standing in line at Forever 21 making a return on a dress and panties that your girlfriend was too embarrassed to do herself!
←Rate | 08-23-2011 04:49 by BRian Comments (0)  

   messageicon You're like a drug to me, not only am I hooked on you but you're also ruining my life...
←Rate | 08-23-2011 04:05 by BRian Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know the economy is bad when you call the bill collectors to make a payment and their answering machine says there is an 8 hour hold time and to try your call again later.
←Rate | 08-15-2011 21:00 by BRian Comments (0)  

   messageicon It was so hot today I had to stick my head in the oven just to cool off...
←Rate | 08-08-2011 06:02 by BRian Comments (0)  

   messageicon You know you're getting old when you hide the year of your date of birth on your profile.
←Rate | 08-06-2011 03:42 by BRian Comments (0)  

   messageicon The grass IS greener on the other side, but the gardener does not always show up.
←Rate | 08-05-2011 19:21 by BRian Comments (0)  

   messageicon Would it kill you to just get this right for once? There, Their, They're - There is a place, Their is something that belongs to them, They're is short for They Are
←Rate | 08-03-2011 05:18 by BRian Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate when they print out a receipt and there's an option for Tip before you put the Total Charge. I'm not going to tip you just because you printed out my receipt!
←Rate | 07-12-2011 14:41 by BRian Comments (0)  

   messageicon When men lie, it's to avoid an argument. When women lie, it's to ruin lives.
←Rate | 07-05-2011 13:31 by BRian Comments (0)  

   messageicon Your cellphone is practically glued to your palms but the minute I call, you all of a sudden had your phone in your purse?
←Rate | 06-30-2011 13:47 by BRian Comments (0)  

   messageicon I wonder if those guys who stand in the corners and flip those billboard signs around all day actually applied for that job or did they lose a bet?
←Rate | 06-24-2011 05:02 by BRian Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate going to a restaurant and my girlfriend orders food and ends up picking out of my plate.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 19:22 by BRian Comments (0)  


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