father OR dad Funny Status Messages

   What dad's really would like for father'r day. To be left alone so they can drink their beer in peace.

   You can tell what was the best year of your father's life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and just ride it out.

   Confusion: Father's day in the ghetto

   Gave my son the "you live under my roof, you play by my rules" speech and my father's mustache immediately appeared on my face.

   I still remember the day my father promoted me to general disappointment.

   Darth Vader: The first black guy to admit he's the father.

   “Forgive me Father for I have sinned” and “Sorry Daddy I’ve been bad” both mean very similar things, but have wildly different connotations

   my great great grandfather: I cleared 40 acres by hand and grew food to feed people. My father: I fought WWII and ended the horror. Me: I think $9.99/month might be too much for Spotify.

   Congrats Khloe Kardashian! You're father was granted parole!

   Happy Father's Day to all you mf'er's out there!

   If she asks you what you want for Father's Day. Tell her to take you off child support.

   A home-made Father's Day gift from your kids seems nice until you remember kids in other countries make Air Jordans and iPhones.

   Ryan Lochte is going to be a father, which proves that no matter how stupid you may be, it only takes one strong swimmer to get somebody pregnant.

   Mick Jagger a Father again? Really? Has he ever been a father before? I think s p e r m donor would be more appropriate

   So, Mick Jagger is a new father at the age of 73. I guess time really is on his side.

   Found out my father is voting for Hillary, which is strange since he died in 2004

   My father taught me that Respect was something that had to be earned ..... So I'm still trying to figure out how looting and burning other peoples stuff is supposed to build respect for your cause.

   Donald Trump Jr should not make fun of Skittles and Syrian refugees -- his mother is an immigrant and his father is an orange Skittle.

   Donald Trump's father's favorite song was "This Land is my Land, This Land is my Land."

   .. Turns out it's true that Malia Obama was smoking a joint .... But so what? .... What's the big deal ... Her father does it too.