father OR dad Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]
«Previous
1

Search results for status messages containing 'father OR dad': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 17

   messageicon your first Baby's father doesnt count. that was just checking if you can have kids
←Rate | 02-26-2019 15:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thanks to synonyms, "Forgive me Father for I have sinned," and "Sorry Daddy, I've been naughty," both mean the same thing.
←Rate | 11-12-2018 09:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a Father Nature, too, but all he's responsible for is the temperature.
←Rate | 07-14-2018 12:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Father inlaw: A priest who is also a lawyer.
←Rate | 07-04-2018 19:24 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon What dad's really would like for father'r day. To be left alone so they can drink their beer in peace.
←Rate | 06-16-2018 22:48 by Jake Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can tell what was the best year of your father's life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and just ride it out.
←Rate | 05-19-2018 08:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Confusion: Father's day in the ghetto
←Rate | 05-02-2018 02:34 by Shain1976 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Gave my son the "you live under my roof, you play by my rules" speech and my father's mustache immediately appeared on my face.
←Rate | 04-16-2018 14:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I still remember the day my father promoted me to general disappointment.
←Rate | 03-05-2018 10:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Darth Vader: The first black guy to admit he's the father.
←Rate | 12-15-2017 11:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Forgive me Father for I have sinned” and “Sorry Daddy I’ve been bad” both mean very similar things, but have wildly different connotations
←Rate | 10-28-2017 10:42 by DaPongLenis Comments (0)  


   messageicon my great great grandfather: I cleared 40 acres by hand and grew food to feed people. My father: I fought WWII and ended the horror. Me: I think $9.99/month might be too much for Spotify.
←Rate | 10-22-2017 21:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Congrats Khloe Kardashian! You're father was granted parole!
←Rate | 07-20-2017 15:55 by Yaj Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happy Father's Day to all you mf'er's out there!
←Rate | 06-18-2017 16:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If she asks you what you want for Father's Day. Tell her to take you off child support.
←Rate | 06-15-2017 15:40 by Surhater Comments (0)  


   messageicon A home-made Father's Day gift from your kids seems nice until you remember kids in other countries make Air Jordans and iPhones.
←Rate | 06-10-2017 14:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ryan Lochte is going to be a father, which proves that no matter how stupid you may be, it only takes one strong swimmer to get somebody pregnant.
←Rate | 12-15-2016 05:13 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mick Jagger a Father again? Really? Has he ever been a father before? I think s p e r m donor would be more appropriate
←Rate | 12-09-2016 15:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, Mick Jagger is a new father at the age of 73. I guess time really is on his side.
←Rate | 12-09-2016 06:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Found out my father is voting for Hillary, which is strange since he died in 2004
←Rate | 10-22-2016 11:56 Comments (0)  



«Previous
1

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left