Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I'm not giving you the middle finger; I'm showing half of a peace sign.

   The more I study the differences between the Beatles as a group vs their solo careers, the more I realize that the Beatles as a group could have been easily named the George Martin Project.

   Air Poland is now Air Jetski.

   A friend: Here's a picture of me when I was youMy friend: Here's a picture of me when I was younger. Me: All pictures of you are when you were younger.nger. Me: All pictures of you are when you were younger.

   Robocop is just a Terminator that hunts minorities.. And dogs

   Missus Beasley gaema hat!

   He's Trump, not Moses. He can't part waters. Blaming him for the Texas flooding is complete nonsense.

   Why are you all still shooting off fireworks? It's July 8th for crying out loud! One of them flew off course and almost hit my Christmas tree!

   My idea of camping is a Motel 6 with a broken ice machine and no cable.

   If casual sex exists that implies the existence of ranked competitive sex