Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny status message updates for FaceBook or Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon When I first heard of 'Keeping up with the Kardashians' I initially thought it was supposed to be a Star Trek show about the Klingon rivals...
←Rate | 04-26-2018 01:17 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hmmmm.... Is it me or was trump a little to friendly with french president Macro
←Rate | 04-26-2018 01:05 Comments (0)  

   messageicon This is to the tune of let it be.. O obese..... O obese..... O obese..... O obese..... That's what donald trump is .... O obese.
←Rate | 04-26-2018 00:19 by Guesswho Comments (0)  

   messageicon Most of you believe that this is April. It’s actually the 114th of January.
←Rate | 04-25-2018 21:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon The Dems have nothing! If they did, it would have leaked by now! You know what else they don’t have? VOTERS!!
←Rate | 04-25-2018 19:47 Comments (5)  

   messageicon Having one child makes you a parent. Having two a referee
←Rate | 04-25-2018 16:18 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Sarah Ugly-bee Sanders is only 35-years old. Are you kidding me? She looks like she took her first drivers test on a dinosaur.
←Rate | 04-25-2018 15:09 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If it was Sunday, without a shred of reasonable doubt, and Donald Trump told me it was Saturday, I'd believe it was Saturday just like that.
←Rate | 04-25-2018 13:17 by ConSheep Comments (3)  

   messageicon If it was Sunday, and Donald Trump told me it was Sunday, I'd still check the calendar.
←Rate | 04-25-2018 05:56 Comments (4)  

   messageicon Self employed = prostitute, drug dealer
←Rate | 04-25-2018 04:56 Comments (7)  

   messageicon Another woman cause me to leave my wife. It was her mother.
←Rate | 04-24-2018 19:38 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon My wife says I only have two faults. #1. I don't pay enough attention to her. #2. And something else.
←Rate | 04-24-2018 19:04 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think the toothbrush was invented in England. If it was invented anywhere else it would be called the teethbrush.
←Rate | 04-24-2018 18:59 by Jake Comments (7)  

   messageicon My wife's cooking is so bad, we pray after the meal.
←Rate | 04-24-2018 18:51 by Jake Comments (0)  

   messageicon Why do ugly strippers charge as much as the pretty ones?
←Rate | 04-24-2018 18:46 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Guys we're having "Little Seizures" tonight!
←Rate | 04-24-2018 11:04 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Just purchased the Barbie doll Collector's Edition. Comes complete with a pre-nup and all of Ken's stuff!
←Rate | 04-23-2018 19:07 Comments (0)  

   messageicon A lot of southern states are celebrating Confederate Memorial day today(4/23) even though the official date is April 26. Confederate Memorial Day is a legal holiday observe in the southern states.
←Rate | 04-23-2018 15:58 Comments (5)  

   messageicon One person forgetting to take their medication can really liven up a mundane day at the office.
←Rate | 04-23-2018 13:33 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Never judge a clown until you've walked a mile in his shoes!
←Rate | 04-23-2018 13:21 Comments (1)  


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