Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
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Four people on Google give a restaurant a bad review so you won't eat there. But millions of people report bad side effects from a vaccination and you keep going back for boosters. And bringing your kids.
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10-03-2023 12:37
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I'm almost a millionaire. I have all the zeros, now I just need a one.

Ladies. Does listening to Taylor Swift songs actually help you deal with your tragic love lives?
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10-02-2023 14:47
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Here is some good free advice. When you see someone gorgeous, this is what I do. I just stare until I get tired, then I put the mirror down and go do something else.

Forgive and forget? What do I look like? Jesus with Alzheimer's?
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10-01-2023 08:23
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I can relate to batteries. I'm not included in anything either.
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09-30-2023 22:25
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Marriage tip: If your wife is upset with you, simply tell her that you'll buy her some crayons if she wants to keep acting like a child. After hearing this, she will immediately reflect on her behavior and calm down.

Dianne Feinstein has passed away. I think I'll have enchiladas for dinner.
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09-29-2023 15:20 by Fike
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The Wicked Witch of the West said it best: What a world, what a world

I once took a Viagra and it lasted longer than 4 hours. I asked my date if I should call the doctor. She screamed, "DON'T YOU DARE!!!"