Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon I wasn’t allowed to watch “A Charlie Brown Christmas” as a kid because of my Peanut allergy.
←Rate | 11-29-2022 12:37 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I have a problem with gingerbread people living in houses made of their flesh, but I promised not to bring it up again and ruin Christmas again this year.
←Rate | 11-29-2022 12:02 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I accidentally took my dogs meds this morning...TELL ME I'M A GOOD BOY ... I'M A GOOD BOY RIGHT ? WANNA SCRATCH MY BUTT ? CAN I SMELL YOURS ?
←Rate | 11-29-2022 01:19 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Congratulations to the people who never took their Christmas decorations down you’re almost there
←Rate | 11-28-2022 09:03 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas play
←Rate | 11-28-2022 04:23 Comments (0)  

   messageicon If you bought a fruitcake this past weekend, you have until March 2035 to eat it.
←Rate | 11-28-2022 04:12 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Don't forget that today is "small business Saturday" so only subscribe to OnlyFans accounts in your town
←Rate | 11-26-2022 02:27 by Eddy Comments (0)  

   messageicon Damn, Girl. Are you Black Friday? 'Cause I'm wondering what your deal is.
←Rate | 11-25-2022 19:15 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Girlfriend asked me if I seen the dog bowl. I said no but that would be very interesting.
←Rate | 11-24-2022 10:29 by Curly Comments (0)  

   messageicon I accidentally took my cats meds this morning... Don't ask meow.
←Rate | 11-23-2022 20:29 by Curly Comments (0)  


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