Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Wondering why I have a belly button, but not being able to imagine life without one

   Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. Others drink Beer so the world circles around them.

   Take note... the people who unabashedly support Drumpf can't spell, can't form a coherent sentence and have no idea how to interpret facts and statistics.

   Think I'll get a third shot. And no I'm not in a bar.

   Trumpers are delusional

   I asked the hotel receptionist for a wake up call. She told me "Trump lost, Joe Biden is now your president".

   Man, you so stupid calling you Forrest Gump is an insult to Forrest Gump. You more like a State Park Gump

   Now that summer's over, I'd like to suggest to the ladies (and guys from Canada) that next year, unless you have a rear end made of perfectly sculpted stone, don't wear a thong.

   COVID is going to be an excuse for horrible restaurant service for years to come.

   I put a message in a bottle and threw it in the Ocean. The note said “I have Tuberculosis and I coughed in this bottle”