Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Home of the free because of the brave, since 1776.

   My favorite color is freedom, so light up the sky like it’s the 4th of July.

   If it involves fireworks, BBQ, and freedom, count me in. Have a Yankee Doodle day.

   Remember kids, don't play with fireworks. Have the adults who have been drinking all day set them off. Happy 4th of July!

   When someone gets loud with you and you’re considering unleashing every single one of your inner demons.

   When you give tourists wrong directions as a prank and then see them a week later on television gone missing.

   Listening to your friend talk about how she’s working it out with her boyfriend after you already blocked him, keyed his car and took his cat to the pound.

   When she’s using her man’s phone to check the weather and wind blows her into his inbox.

   I’m kind of glad dinosaurs are extinct. Pretty sure I’d try to keep one as a pet.

   I could really go for a pinata right about now. I’d love to beat the crap out of something and then have some candy.