Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Some girl just asked me out, well she actually told me to get out of my store, but I know what she really meant

   "who does a gal have to blow around here to get to be the next Ambassador to the UN?"

   we were worried about our son's future because he can't spell, refuses to tell the truth, and only knows four adjectives; but at least he is qualified to be the President.

   Does anyone want the Chief of Staff job? Is it really such a horrible job?

   I once played "soggy cookie" with my male friends. I lost, but 9n the upside, the cookie tasted not too bad.

   Chump hires other guilty people so when the sh1t hit the fan, he'll have company in jail.

   This is 2018, people. Please stop hating a former president just because he's black! Grow up, all of you!

   All I asked from this president is to unite all Americans, and he couldn't even do that.

   What's a smocking gun?

   Bu-bu-bu-bu, but Hilary's emails...

   But Sir, you said you didn't make any such transaction...just like you said there was "no collusion". Remember?

   I thought that Trump was going to be the "law and order" President? I guess that the laws are meant to apply to everybody else but not to him?

   What payments there were no payments I made no payments you will have to ask Michael"cohen" my lawyer but he was not my lawyer.What about Hilary's e-mail.

   Doesn't State Farm sell Collusion Insurance?

   But but, I thought Trump didn't have an affair with these women let alone pay them.

   The four stages of Trumpian denial: 1: Categorical denial--'it never happened!' 2: Well, it *sort* of happened 3: Yes, it was quite true, but there's nothing wrong with it! 4: Yes, it was wrong but I can just pardon myself.

   I was walking in the forest and I found a skull! I called the police and they told me not to move it. Well, I already had moved it, but I was scared to tell them that, so I picked it up carefully by one of the antlers and put it back exactly where it was.

   Some of you ladies look better on " would you date opposite gender of yourself

   I have all the world's knowledge at the very tips of my fingers where I can find the answers to life's most perplexing questions! and here I am googleing What did Oscar the Grouch do if he overslept on trash day?

   I hate blacks because Trump hates them.