Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says The actor Peter Cullen voiced both Eeyore AND Optimus Prime. That trivia will be in your brain forever. You're welcome.
X says Math question: There are 36 Oreos in a 14.3oz package. If Mike eats 3 of those cookies, how many minutes before he's like screw it and eats the rest?
X says "Don't MAKE me turn this beat around!" — Gloria Estefan yelling at her kids
X says A fun part of your 40s is waking up thinking you're hungover, and then remembering, nope, this is just how my body feels now.
X says Accidentally used the dog's shampoo and my hair is super shiny but the neighbors won't like what I just did on their lawn.
X says Ten seconds of drug commercials are spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest is spent basically daring you to take it.
X says I very rarely piss people off but when I do it's usually loud and spectacular
X says Yes I am a fan , a huge fan of inappropriate behavior.
X says What do normal people do with their time?
X says Sorry for drunk texting last night. And this morning. And right now.
X The dress was white and gold until it decided to go on a date with Chris Brown.
X says My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
X says The best way to solve your relationship problems is to post about them on the internet and let your friends solve them for you.
X says A friend of mine drinks their coffee so black, it shot at him. . .
X says Ronda Rousey raped me, ok it wasn't rape, I enjoyed it. . .
X says My dog says that dress is grey.
X says If Jesus was really for the poor, vulnerable and abused then he would have been born a minority, not a privileged white.
X says Fear of bugs
X says SPORT - for dumb and ugly people to also become rich and famous!
X says Hi, I hate Rob Lowe, I think about kicking his a$$ every time I see his stupid commercial. . .