Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or Whatsapp profile.

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   messageicon Oh hi, how are you , how high are you ?.
←Rate | 07-30-2016 16:29 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Vote for hillary if you want a hyperthyroid, incontinent, epileptic, octagernarian female that is to stupid to have classified materual and created ISIS and takes 25 million from gay killing countries that keep women in bee keeper outfits,.
←Rate | 07-30-2016 14:30 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Vite for hillary if you want a hypeethyroid, incontinent, epileptic, octagernarian female tha is to stupid to have classified materual and created ISIS and takes 25 million from gay killing countries that meep women in bee keeper outfits,.
←Rate | 07-30-2016 14:26 Comments (0)  

   messageicon all the Trumps kids lisp! Because of their teeth veneers!
←Rate | 07-30-2016 14:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Good people in America... You deserve a better candidate than Donald Trump.
←Rate | 07-30-2016 13:58 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I guess the so called great patriot, trump, likes working with foreign entities(Russia, etc.) to subvert our democracy!
←Rate | 07-30-2016 13:53 Comments (0)  

   messageicon It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One you will see after a while, whereas the other, you will see them later.
←Rate | 07-30-2016 13:45 by Fazzella Comments (0)  

   messageicon I also think it's adorable how their putting jokes on the sides of snacks now. .. Like listen to this one, ,,"serving size 3 cookies "
←Rate | 07-30-2016 13:38 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think it's funny how "go to sleep " and "do parkour" sound exactly the same to my kids
←Rate | 07-30-2016 13:36 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think I'll go to the playground so I can enjoy a relaxing afternoon of screaming at my kids for screaming
←Rate | 07-30-2016 13:33 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Well, of course the gas station air pump costs a dollar, because air doesn't grow on trees........... Ummmm,,,,, wait.
←Rate | 07-30-2016 13:32 by snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Donald Trump - reason why psychological testing should be mandatory for all presidential candidates.
←Rate | 07-30-2016 13:31 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Life starts with everyone cheering when you poop and goes drastically down hill from there.
←Rate | 07-30-2016 13:20 by Snotty Comments (0)  

   messageicon Donald Trump will make america Russia's lil b itch.
←Rate | 07-30-2016 13:14 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Things we used to do to communist admirers like Trump.
←Rate | 07-30-2016 13:13 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Trump has feelings for Putin.Back in my day horrible things used to happen to communist admirers and lovers.
←Rate | 07-30-2016 13:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon it true that the tons of confetti dropped at the Democrat National Convention was actually Hillary's shredded emails?
←Rate | 07-30-2016 13:01 Comments (0)  

   messageicon I drove a Mississippi mile in a New York minute. I got where I was going in no time flat but kept getting pulled over by State Troopers who'd ask me, "Y'all know how fast y'all wuz drivin'?
←Rate | 07-30-2016 12:35 by Fazzella Comments (0)  

   messageicon Things I do for klondike bars: 1) Buy them 2) Steal them 3) You
←Rate | 07-30-2016 09:11 Comments (0)  

   messageicon Wait, were those actually political conventions or a seemingly endless loop of American Horror Story??
←Rate | 07-30-2016 08:31 Comments (0)  


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