Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says Administrative Professionals Day is the best way to find out who doesn't know they're an administrative professional.
X Sorry I yelled GET A ROOM when your grandma was hugging your grandpa's coffin.
X says I tried to commit suicide last night... but a well-hung pilot flew me to an island with 12 dudes.
X says I will follow anybody that's going to the liquor store.
X says Civilian justice: just saw a beautiful female cop make an illegal lane change, so I pulled her over and threw her in my dungeon.
X To women over 40, a guy with a belly and a sense of humor is a great catch. A guy who's buff is considered a narcissist and a pole-smoker.
X says After random power outages happened throughout the city due to maintanence, thousands of city residents lined up to pay overdue electricity bills....well played Houston....well played
X says Sometimes I just want the UFC commentator to be like "Personally, I think he's trying to f cuk him...but I'm no expert, Joe."
X says "The world is full of nice people. If you can't find one, be one!"
X says Wrigley Field... this joke speaks for itself.
X Rachel Starr gave me a blow job.
X says To all of those who think women should not be allowed to be together.....have never watched a good porno!!!
X says To all those who think should not be allowed to be together......have never watched a good prono
X says Give a man a fish, and he eats for a day. Teach a Nigerian to phish and he'll become a prince.
X says What idiot called him Steve Jobs instead of Mac Daddy
X says Sorry I punched you in the throat, but you looked like you were going to say something.
X says You look like the kind of guy who cries while masturbating to James Blunt songs.
X says If you wear camo gear and you're not in the woods I'm just going to assume you're hunting dignity.
X says Today is one of those days, so unless you're bringing me a beer DO NOT come within slapping reach!
X says Fate has it's tricky ways of throwing something in front of you that you never expected.