Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says my views on lesbian relationships? Preferably in HD.
X Her wedding day means no more sucking, shaving or starving!
X says She said: You're certainly not the man I married. He said: Yeah. He had a much younger wife.
X says She said: "I miss the old you." I know that she meant the young me
X says I love the surprised look on a woman's face when I tell her that she drew her eyebrows too high.
X says people wonder how the hardware store knows who's g ay & who isnt....you know when they ask for a screw, 2 nuts, & a washer at the end then they drop their pants
X says My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard & earned an online college degree from the University of Phoenix.
X says Remember, your neighbours aren't going to be attacked by killer bees on their own. You have to want it. You need to make it happen.
X says I never thought the thug life would involve so many bills.
X says On Canada Day you are allowed to kiss a beaver; and Parks Canada can't do nothing about it ... it's in the constitution.
X says I'm really starting to get along with this guy my wife turned me into.
X says I wonder what America's bald-headed eagle could do to Canada's beaver?
X Exactly how is that Tennessee Hardware shop owner going to make that "NO G AYS ALLOWED!" sign work anyway? I mean how can he tell? Is there like a litmus test or some kind of g ay Deliverance hillbilly honor system we all don't know about?
X says Didn't wanna say how hot it was in my room last night but 2 hobbits came round and threw a ring in it
X says Women who say all men are dogs but still have sex with the same men should be arrested for bestiality since it’s illegal to have sex with animals like dogs.
X says I just met a girl, she is very pretty, super nice and her bike seat smells like strawberries
X A Tennessee Hardware shop has put up a sign that says "No Gays Allowed". His homophobia is readily explained by the other sign in his shop "Today's Special: 25 cents for 12 inch screws!"
X says Ask SIri "What is zero divided by zero", and get ready for a laugh.
X Out voted 1-1 by my wife again....
X says Although extremely pretty, any kids I make will inherit a dangerous amount of gangsta and clumsiness from me... Which means if they ever do a drive-by they will most likely end up shooting themselves in the foot...