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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X says Need help drafting a weed smoking NFL fantasy team. That way they won't miss any games due to suspensions...
←Rate | 08-22-2014 00:34 by Steeler Comments (0)

X says patiently waiting for the "No-Bra" Ice bucket challenge
←Rate | 08-21-2014 20:48 Comments (0)

X 36 die in mudslide in China. Obama blames excessive police force.
←Rate | 08-21-2014 17:56 Comments (0)

X says My father dies from ALS, get off the subject and start writing funny stuff...
←Rate | 08-21-2014 17:52 Comments (1)

X says You can now buy booze at Starbucks. So apparently my letter-writing campaign paid off.
←Rate | 08-21-2014 12:28 by Mark M Comments (0)

X says ALS ice bucket..drop this crap already. Half the people don't know what ALS s. If you wanna donate, donate for TB, HIV or malaria. These kill millions per year. ALS is so exceedingly rare, just bcos it affected a few high profile athletes.. Every1 goes cr
←Rate | 08-21-2014 12:04 by Stopit Comments (1)

X I now nominate all of you for the ALS ice pick to the head challenge.
←Rate | 08-21-2014 10:50 Comments (0)

X says Facts never seem to matter to a lynch mob.
←Rate | 08-21-2014 09:43 Comments (0)

X While the folks in Ferguson are busy protesting, Mexicans are taking their jobs...
←Rate | 08-21-2014 08:32 Comments (0)

X From 8am until 11:59 a.m,,,, my job basically pays me to think about what I am going to have for lunch
←Rate | 08-21-2014 08:13 by snotty Comments (0)

X says I walked a mile their shoes and I didn't end up carrying a flat screen 50" TV out of a closed store in Ferguson.
←Rate | 08-21-2014 05:39 by Bob B Comments (0)

X says Seems like my body should have better things to do than make ear hair.
←Rate | 08-21-2014 05:32 by andrew jackson Comments (0)

X says Ice Bucket Challenge = Monkey see Monkey Do
←Rate | 08-21-2014 04:55 Comments (0)

X says Not believing in your God doesn't make me the devil.
←Rate | 08-21-2014 04:50 Comments (2)

X says Not now, Life. I have fake people to impress on the Internet.
←Rate | 08-21-2014 02:50 Comments (0)

X says I would rather massage my urethra with a cactus than hear that Pharrell song about being Happy
←Rate | 08-21-2014 02:21 Comments (0)

X says You're really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women
←Rate | 08-21-2014 02:16 Comments (0)

X says When I was a wait, I still do that.
←Rate | 08-21-2014 02:15 Comments (0)

X says I feel so old whenever someone tells me they were born in the 90s
←Rate | 08-21-2014 02:09 Comments (0)

X says I only kissed you for a few minutes of peace and quiet.
←Rate | 08-21-2014 02:09 Comments (0)


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