Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says There are no bad photos. That’s just how you look sometimes.
X says Your honor, let the record show the defendant's eyebrows are drawn on.
X Michael Sam was rejected by BIG D.
X says you'd think with the weather being below 90 degrees, it'd be ACUTE day out
X says good night
X says I've spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can't find his nuggets.
X says Dr: I need a urine and stool sample. Me: *hands him my underwear* Dr:...... Me: Its all there.
X says I don't think I have enough money to find long everlasting love.
X says Anxiety is your brain reminding you that you are a wussy.
X says I can't get the cork off my dinner.
X says I'm just a boy, standing in front of a hole, wondering if I might find glory on the other side.
X says if ur date declines a kiss at the end of the night open ur mouth and let the ants escape. Then say "it's ok I had a mouthful of ants anyway"
X says A yawn is a silent scream for coffee.
X says Judging from the bar receipts, ATM withdraws, hand stamps, and the glitter in my car, I now realize I'm a ball of fun when I black out.
X says Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
X says I'm worried for my friend. He hasn't shared a blog article about the secret to happiness in weeks.
X says You know what makes sex awesome? Actually having it.
X says All I'm saying is, the minute Canada starts refining its maple syrup reserves into weapons-grade Aunt Jemimium, we're all french toast.
X says What she said: "I'd make great wife material" What I heard: "I'm going to nag you to death and never touch your d*ck"
X says There are some people in this world who make you totally understand Hannibal Lecter.