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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 21:34 Comments (0)

X says Ur so mad Kelly ur compleat lay crazy love ya tho xxx
←Rate | 12-19-2014 19:05 by @itz_rosiehere Instagram Comments (0)

X says Hi ur such a spack tom xxx great night last night can I come round again tonight for more fun ;) xxx
←Rate | 12-19-2014 19:03 by Rosie Comments (0)

X says Interestingly, if we invade North Korea because it caused us to miss a movie, that still won't be the worst reason we ever went to war.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 13:15 by Baddie Comments (0)

X *Storming off the set of Antiques Road Show,,,, THERE'S NO WAY ITS A REPLICA.... "But it says Made in China?"... OF COURSE ITS MADE IN CHINA, IT'S A MING VASE !!!
←Rate | 12-19-2014 12:00 by snotty Comments (0)

X Sorry about all the jokes I've made that you didn't like. If it's any consolation,, they were free & someday I'll die......
←Rate | 12-19-2014 11:49 by snotty Comments (0)

X says Just to annoy my therapist, I’ll ask him; “so how does needing therapy after seeing me make you feel?"
←Rate | 12-19-2014 09:03 by Nipper Comments (0)

X says Relationship Status: Intercepting blown kisses.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:46 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says 90% of socializing is wondering what to do with your hands when out in public.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:44 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That's really not necessary
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:42 by Psycho Comments (0)

X says Horoscope: Yes she got all your texts.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:35 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)

X says One day girl, all those flashing lights and sirens will be for us.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:34 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)

X says Please don't let the trainee make my burrito please don't let the trainee make my burrito please don't let the trainee make my burrito. Dammit the trainee is making my burrito.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:28 Comments (0)

X says "But why?" - Me at weddings
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:24 Comments (0)

X says But Officer, that's just my medicinal sawed-off shotgun.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:23 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says [breaks apart couple holding hands] You're free now
←Rate | 12-19-2014 04:15 by Psycho Comments (0)

X says [During Interview] "Do you have any questions?" - Yeah, in The Titanic why did Jack sink when he died but everyone else floated?
←Rate | 12-19-2014 00:11 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it's technically a cat
←Rate | 12-19-2014 00:10 by Baddie Comments (0)

X says "Welcome to fightclub you may now kiss the bride."
←Rate | 12-19-2014 00:10 Comments (0)

X says And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas......." Just as well really, they would only f*cking ask for aid to help clear it away.
←Rate | 12-19-2014 00:06 by StonerDudee Comments (0)


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