Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says "And what does this do?" *pokes clitoris*
X Yesterday we had Earth Hour as a reminder that we all need to take better care of Earth. I would also like to encourage you all to take better care of uranus.
X I'm ready to go mushroom hunting, because I have no morels
X says If Mexico wanted to really harm the U.S., they would cut off our supply of drugs.
X says Whats the difference between Sunnis and Shiites? Sunni's are attracted to goats while Shiite's are attracted to sheep.
X says I have Hillary's private e-mail,It goes right to her campaign headquarters. You know, it's email@example.com
X says "It looks like the Easter Bunny came here last night" "Let's not jump to any conclusions. Until we get these semen samples down to the lab we can't be sure who it was."
X says She is called a Bronze digger: when she has low standards.
X says I'm "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
X says My wife said I couldn't finger paint and also she says that "Paint" is a stupid name for our cat
X says Alcohol poisoning must suck. I can't imagine what it's like being poisoned by the one you love
X says Her: where have you been my whole life? Me: chillin on my couch
X says Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive.
X says Nike: Just Do It. Crocs: Just Don't.
X says I'm not really a tree hugger; but I did dry hump a nice Oak once when I was drunk.
X I'm not really a tee hugger; but I did dry hump a nice Oak once when I was drunk.
X I had an impromptu Earth Day celebration. I didn't planet.
X my kid said I can't wait until the Easter Bunny comes so I can eat it. I said if you eat the Easter Bunny she might come faster.
X It's Earth Day. I love the earth. There is something about the Earth that makes me constantly gravitate towards it.
X says If quitters never win and winners never quit, who came up with "quit while you're ahead?"