Funny Status Messages | Status Message Generator | Recent Comments | Chuck Norris Sayings

Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
Oldest | Recent | Rating
Filter On | Filter Off
Search Messages:
Page: 1 of 4875

X says The actor Peter Cullen voiced both Eeyore AND Optimus Prime. That trivia will be in your brain forever. You're welcome.
←Rate | 03-02-2015 06:14 by huck Comments (0)

X says Math question: There are 36 Oreos in a 14.3oz package. If Mike eats 3 of those cookies, how many minutes before he's like screw it and eats the rest?
←Rate | 03-02-2015 06:10 by andrew jackson Comments (0)

X says "Don't MAKE me turn this beat around!" — Gloria Estefan yelling at her kids
←Rate | 03-02-2015 06:09 by andrew jackson Comments (0)

X says A fun part of your 40s is waking up thinking you're hungover, and then remembering, nope, this is just how my body feels now.
←Rate | 03-02-2015 06:06 by huck Comments (0)

X says Accidentally used the dog's shampoo and my hair is super shiny but the neighbors won't like what I just did on their lawn.
←Rate | 03-02-2015 06:05 by andrew jackson Comments (0)

X says Ten seconds of drug commercials are spent telling you what the drug is for and the rest is spent basically daring you to take it.
←Rate | 03-02-2015 06:03 by andrew jackson Comments (0)

X says I very rarely piss people off but when I do it's usually loud and spectacular
←Rate | 03-02-2015 01:34 Comments (0)

X says Yes I am a fan , a huge fan of inappropriate behavior.
←Rate | 03-02-2015 01:33 Comments (0)

X says What do normal people do with their time?
←Rate | 03-02-2015 01:33 Comments (0)

X says Sorry for drunk texting last night. And this morning. And right now.
←Rate | 03-02-2015 01:30 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X The dress was white and gold until it decided to go on a date with Chris Brown.
←Rate | 03-01-2015 19:32 by Thinking Funny Comments (0)

X says My dyslexia has reached a new owl.
←Rate | 03-01-2015 16:22 by Nipper Comments (0)

X says The best way to solve your relationship problems is to post about them on the internet and let your friends solve them for you.
←Rate | 03-01-2015 15:08 Comments (0)

X says A friend of mine drinks their coffee so black, it shot at him. . .
←Rate | 03-01-2015 12:35 Comments (0)

X says Ronda Rousey raped me, ok it wasn't rape, I enjoyed it. . .
←Rate | 03-01-2015 12:34 by JAB Comments (0)

X says My dog says that dress is grey.
←Rate | 03-01-2015 12:18 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)

X says If Jesus was really for the poor, vulnerable and abused then he would have been born a minority, not a privileged white.
←Rate | 03-01-2015 12:16 Comments (2)

X says Fear of bugs
←Rate | 03-01-2015 09:26 Comments (0)

X says SPORT - for dumb and ugly people to also become rich and famous!
←Rate | 03-01-2015 08:30 Comments (0)

X says Hi, I hate Rob Lowe, I think about kicking his a$$ every time I see his stupid commercial. . .
←Rate | 02-28-2015 22:58 by JAM Comments (0)


Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Status Message:

... characters left