Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X says Retail Stores: "It's September 1st! Time to put out all the Christmas crap...."
X says When reality comes knocking, I make tequila answers the door.
X says I got in touch with my feminine side today by burning a house down over a text message
X "Welcome to Costco, I love you."
X Men are problem solvers, women are problem creators...
X says I'd have sex with Martha Stewart just for the amazing breakfast she would make the next morning.
X says Funny how you don't see Oprah or Bigfoot in the same room.
X says I haven't heard anything about Farmville lately. Did those guys sell out to Monsanto?
X says Why hasn't Head and Shoulders shampoo come out with a body wash called "Knees and Toes"?
X says My wife and I got a book on how to spice up our love life. One suggestion was to make love in a car wash. It was great but it really pissed off those people doing their church fund raiser.
X says Happy 35th Birthday Pac-Man!
X My Uber driver almost crashed twice. 5 stars. Very exciting.
X says My wiener is bigger than yours......After I fold it in half
X says I once took a girl to Starbucks because I forgot her name
X says I wonder if, Wes Craven died in his sleep....Or did he go out with a Scream?
X says if Kanye did become president, the first lady will be. . . let that sit in
X says Hope you're feeling OK after being sexually violated by Miley Cyrus last night.
X says 2020 will be like any other election...Kanye will vote for Kanye
X says You knew how I chew when you agreed to marry me.
X says Kanye even went as far to become a Kardashian to get into the spotlight.