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Funny Status Messages for Facebook

Status message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
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X says "And what does this do?" *pokes clitoris*
←Rate | 03-29-2015 13:25 by Psycho Comments (0)

X Yesterday we had Earth Hour as a reminder that we all need to take better care of Earth. I would also like to encourage you all to take better care of uranus.
←Rate | 03-29-2015 11:42 Comments (0)

X I'm ready to go mushroom hunting, because I have no morels
←Rate | 03-29-2015 10:34 by MWC Comments (0)

X says If Mexico wanted to really harm the U.S., they would cut off our supply of drugs.
←Rate | 03-29-2015 03:53 Comments (2)

X says Whats the difference between Sunnis and Shiites? Sunni's are attracted to goats while Shiite's are attracted to sheep.
←Rate | 03-29-2015 01:55 Comments (0)

X says I have Hillary's private e-mail,It goes right to her campaign headquarters. You know, it's
←Rate | 03-29-2015 00:02 Comments (0)

X says "It looks like the Easter Bunny came here last night" "Let's not jump to any conclusions. Until we get these semen samples down to the lab we can't be sure who it was."
←Rate | 03-28-2015 14:44 Comments (0)

X says She is called a Bronze digger: when she has low standards.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 13:11 Comments (0)

X says I'm "BE KIND & REWIND" years old.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 13:06 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)

X says My wife said I couldn't finger paint and also she says that "Paint" is a stupid name for our cat
←Rate | 03-28-2015 13:01 by Psycho Comments (0)

X says Alcohol poisoning must suck. I can't imagine what it's like being poisoned by the one you love
←Rate | 03-28-2015 12:55 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says Her: where have you been my whole life? Me: chillin on my couch
←Rate | 03-28-2015 12:53 Comments (0)

X says Taking selfies is a lot of work when you’re not attractive.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 12:43 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)

X says Nike: Just Do It. Crocs: Just Don't.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 12:36 by Czovczov Comments (0)

X says I'm not really a tree hugger; but I did dry hump a nice Oak once when I was drunk.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 11:27 Comments (0)

X I'm not really a tee hugger; but I did dry hump a nice Oak once when I was drunk.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 11:26 Comments (0)

X I had an impromptu Earth Day celebration. I didn't planet.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 11:25 Comments (0)

X my kid said I can't wait until the Easter Bunny comes so I can eat it. I said if you eat the Easter Bunny she might come faster.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 11:24 Comments (0)

X It's Earth Day. I love the earth. There is something about the Earth that makes me constantly gravitate towards it.
←Rate | 03-28-2015 11:19 Comments (0)

X says If quitters never win and winners never quit, who came up with "quit while you're ahead?"
←Rate | 03-28-2015 08:47 Comments (0)


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