Funny Status Messages for FacebookStatus message updates and sayings for your Facebook, Twitter, or profile.
X The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
X says Ur so mad Kelly ur compleat lay crazy love ya tho xxx
X says Hi ur such a spack tom xxx great night last night can I come round again tonight for more fun ;) xxx
X says Interestingly, if we invade North Korea because it caused us to miss a movie, that still won't be the worst reason we ever went to war.
X *Storming off the set of Antiques Road Show,,,, THERE'S NO WAY ITS A REPLICA.... "But it says Made in China?"... OF COURSE ITS MADE IN CHINA, IT'S A MING VASE !!!
X Sorry about all the jokes I've made that you didn't like. If it's any consolation,, they were free & someday I'll die......
X says Just to annoy my therapist, I’ll ask him; “so how does needing therapy after seeing me make you feel?"
X says Relationship Status: Intercepting blown kisses.
X says 90% of socializing is wondering what to do with your hands when out in public.
X says Me: *kisses her on both cheeks goodbye* Cashier: That's really not necessary
X says Horoscope: Yes she got all your texts.
X says One day girl, all those flashing lights and sirens will be for us.
X says Please don't let the trainee make my burrito please don't let the trainee make my burrito please don't let the trainee make my burrito. Dammit the trainee is making my burrito.
X says "But why?" - Me at weddings
X says But Officer, that's just my medicinal sawed-off shotgun.
X says [breaks apart couple holding hands] You're free now
X says [During Interview] "Do you have any questions?" - Yeah, in The Titanic why did Jack sink when he died but everyone else floated?
X says If your dog weighs less than 10lbs, it's technically a cat
X says "Welcome to fightclub you may now kiss the bride."
X says And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas......." Just as well really, they would only f*cking ask for aid to help clear it away.