totalpackage Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I think the "Situation" should be renamed "Regurgitation" after he stunk up the Donald Trump roast!.
←Rate | 03-16-2011 03:57 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks his GPS has dyslexia....I typed in "Macy's" and it took me to the YMCA!
←Rate | 03-17-2011 02:52 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me or does Pink's new hair do make her look like Mo Howard?
←Rate | 03-17-2011 02:55 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon ending the night with green beer in a sippy cup!
←Rate | 03-18-2011 01:17 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon thinks facebook should be responsible for funding all these foreign wars it keeps getting us into.....Pay up, Zuckerburg!!!
←Rate | 03-24-2011 23:37 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon just got kicked out of JG Wentworth for marching in and demanding my money NOW!
←Rate | 03-25-2011 00:02 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon noticed the Weather Channel has a new show hosted by a dude named Peter Lik....How old do you have to be for that NOT to be funny because I evidently haven't reached it yet.
←Rate | 03-31-2011 23:47 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I heard they found the deadly Egyptian cobra that was missing from the Bronx Zoo.....It was in Lindsay Lohan's purse!
←Rate | 04-01-2011 16:27 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just had my most disturbing nighmare ever....I was gagged, tied and forced to watch "The View!"
←Rate | 04-02-2011 15:12 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I didn't watch the royal wedding but I had a disturbing dream that Queen Elizabeth and Queen Latifah did a "chest bump" during the nuptuals! :/
←Rate | 04-29-2011 12:58 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now that Bin Laden is polluting the Arabian Sea, I hear the sharks have declared "Jihad!"
←Rate | 05-03-2011 13:21 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon may not be a millionaire yet but I figure what I have in my pocket combined with 3 vehicles full of gas puts me pretty damned close...
←Rate | 05-12-2011 23:18 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just started an online dating site for Siamese twins....It's called "Connect 4!"
←Rate | 05-13-2011 23:05 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon heard Charlie Sheen's pissed now that Arnold Schwarzenegger is the front runner for "Schmuck Of The Year" award!
←Rate | 05-17-2011 14:05 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon I would rather soak my berry's in maple syrup and sit on an ant hill than diddle Arnold Swartzenegger's baby momma!
←Rate | 05-20-2011 10:25 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon had a DNA paternity test done on my dogs new puppies....Turns out they all belong to Arnold Schwarzenegger. ツ
←Rate | 05-25-2011 08:14 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon Looks like Hugh Hefner's fiance finally got her cataracts removed and called off the wedding realizing she'd have to wake up everyday next to a dude that looks worse than the dead guy on "A Weekend at Bernie's"
←Rate | 06-14-2011 16:00 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon was glad to see it was "peter tweeter" Anthony Weiner's last day in office but I was a bit dismayed when I heard that Gary Busey was slotted as his interim replacement.
←Rate | 06-22-2011 00:17 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon trying to figure out how many Sham-Wows I'm gonna need to soak up all the water in my truck after leaving the window down for 2 days...
←Rate | 06-26-2011 13:07 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


   messageicon firing bottle rockets at blue hairs wearing 4th of July Snuggie's!
←Rate | 07-03-2011 16:18 by totalpackage Comments (0)  


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