eaglet1122 Funny Status Messages



Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Filter On | Filter Off | No Trump


Search Messages:
[Clear]
«Previous
1

Search results for status messages containing 'eaglet1122': View All Messages
Page: 1 of 8

   messageicon I want to tell you about my dream last night. I don't understand it. It was Greek to me....Έχετε λάβει η στιγμή να μεταφράσει αυτό το όνειρο; έχετε ανάγκη από βοήθεια.
←Rate | 06-14-2010 09:32 by eaglet1122 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Today I made sushi at home for the first time. I subsituted a hotdog for the raw tuna, a bun for the rice, and mustard for the wasabi!
←Rate | 06-14-2010 10:23 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Change is good..especially if you wear diapers!
←Rate | 06-24-2010 10:34 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I have just finished my thesis: "Pyrotechnics Lead to prosthetics". Keep all your digits safe! Happy 4th!!
←Rate | 07-04-2010 21:58 by eaglet1122 Comments (1)  


   messageicon ‎*disclamer* no animals were harmed in the crafting of this status update. Stunt doubles were substituted and all theories were tested on a closed course.
←Rate | 07-16-2010 12:58 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon AD for PAPER DELIVERY PERSON: Must like early mornings, must own beater car/truck with squealing breaks and NO muffler or sound supression what so ever!! Ability to drive with one knee a plus!!
←Rate | 07-20-2010 09:25 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Has a theory: If grocery stores just paint the cart returns with handicap blue and build it out of curbing. Then everyone would put their buggies there!
←Rate | 08-09-2010 22:13 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon streaming Netflix's through a Blackberry tandem modem. Please don't call. The good part is coming up!!
←Rate | 09-12-2010 08:01 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just returned a Rug Dr to Lowes. When asked if it worked ok I responded, "Yep got up all the blood and evidence as promised. I would recommend it to anyone"!
←Rate | 09-22-2010 11:52 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q: What does an elephant use for tampons? A: Sheep
←Rate | 09-22-2010 11:59 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think the only people that can use a disposable razor and NOT cut themselves are people that have been to prison!
←Rate | 09-23-2010 10:20 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon wonders if birds have a national MAYDAY sytem in place when they know their going to crash?!?!
←Rate | 09-30-2010 08:06 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am rotating the tire on my unicycle!
←Rate | 10-10-2010 22:02 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Then the Mermaid looked at me and kissed me.. I stopped her & said, " I can't"...."Something smells fishy here"
←Rate | 10-14-2010 08:24 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to be a comedian so bad but I am afraid they will all laugh at me!
←Rate | 10-15-2010 19:48 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stevie Wonder's Twitter update was hilarious. it said," ahdshewsd€yts".
←Rate | 10-17-2010 19:36 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I like my ice at room temperature.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 08:56 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Last women I hooked up with at the retirement home told me, "If you break it you buy it"! You know what that hip replacement cost me??
←Rate | 10-28-2010 20:14 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The devil and I go way back. It all started that day we were playing with matches!
←Rate | 10-30-2010 11:27 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stans' Rule #39: When showering at a guest house and your not 100% sure about the towel, DON'T dry your face. Doing so may lead to resentful feelings of said guest!
←Rate | 11-01-2010 15:26 by eaglet1122 Comments (0)  


«Previous
1

[Search Results] [View All Messages]
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left