abbybaby34 Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon “Even in a happy relationship, it's seems to be possible to have a wandering eye or even crave affection from another person.
←Rate | 07-19-2010 22:09 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon AbbyBaby Kurt New pregnancy test for black woman was just released on the market. Insert banana in vagina, then remove after 10seconds. If banana is half missin, there's another monkey on the way!!!
←Rate | 01-11-2011 22:58 by Abbybaby34 Comments (4)  


   messageicon if you are reading this status between 7AM and 5 PM--Get a Job!! OR-- Get back to WORK!!
←Rate | 01-19-2011 15:41 by abbybaby34 Comments (3)  


   messageicon They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
←Rate | 01-25-2011 13:58 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey West Coast, it's the East Coast. We checked it out for you, and today isn't worth getting up for. Go ahead and sleep in.
←Rate | 01-26-2011 14:19 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're so annoying you should just wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry."
←Rate | 01-28-2011 15:27 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you shut off the Internet in the US, we'd overthrow the government within hours.
←Rate | 01-28-2011 15:40 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Telling me to calm down is the only guaranteed way to piss me off.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 10:04 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nobody's phone is ever off. They're lying.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 21:35 by Abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I just got a text from a wrong number that said "I think my ex is stalking my friends"... so I replied back "No I'm not."
←Rate | 01-30-2011 21:04 by Abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Getting 3 inches of snow per hour. My front yard looks like Charlie Sheen's coffee table.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 15:34 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish some people could actually see their personality when they look in a mirror.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 16:37 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Damn!! My internet is running slower than a turtle with 3 broken legs and a massive head injuty--doesn't it know that I am a FB addict?
←Rate | 02-02-2011 16:38 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the I in "I love you" becomes more important than the "you," the word in the middle just fades away.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 16:39 by abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon My wife and I have are talking about renewing our vows. Or as I like to call it, getting a double life sentence.
←Rate | 02-02-2011 16:40 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you got attacked by a bunch of homeless people would you be bummed?
←Rate | 02-02-2011 18:06 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Tostitos, make your dip jars shorter and wider so your chips can actually fit inside them. Thanks
←Rate | 02-02-2011 21:46 by Abbybaby34 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Thank you music, for being there when no one else was.
←Rate | 02-03-2011 10:51 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm about 0 for 300 in looking for safes behind wall paintings
←Rate | 02-03-2011 10:56 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There should be a 5 second rule when girls start to cry where you can take what you just said back.
←Rate | 02-04-2011 13:41 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


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