Truman Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon onions $2.98, wooden sticks $3.50, cellophane $5.00 handing out caramel covered onions for halloween priceless
←Rate | 10-31-2012 07:04 by truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon I often worry that mankind is going to start world war III solely because we enjoy trilogies
←Rate | 11-21-2012 19:06 by truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Dear lord thankyou for these noodles i'm about to eat, ramen
←Rate | 02-07-2013 20:06 by truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then have we found the perfect location for a nickelback concert
←Rate | 02-08-2013 06:15 by truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon stairs are always up to something...
←Rate | 02-08-2013 06:23 by truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Million dollar idea: Chocolate Nerds called Urkels.
←Rate | 02-13-2013 20:26 by truman Comments (1)  

   messageicon I hate when I'm singing and people join in. B*tch, this aint glee.
←Rate | 03-07-2013 06:43 by truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong, especially after what he achieved winning 7 Tour De France races while on drugs. When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike.
←Rate | 03-19-2013 23:12 by truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Twerking and selfie have been officially added to the dictionary. Future and Optimism have been removed.
←Rate | 10-23-2013 20:48 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Thankyou, slow walking family in front of me on the foothpath, No please, take your time.... and definately spread out, so you create a barricade of idiots.
←Rate | 01-15-2014 19:44 by Truman Comments (1)  

   messageicon I'm so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
←Rate | 07-05-2017 06:41 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon I know it's early..but I often forget things, so I've just written my letter to Santa, warning him not to drink the milk at Bill Cosby's place!!
←Rate | 10-10-2017 13:13 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Angela Merkel isn't convinced about the reputations of Trump and Weinstein..she says she's never been touched up by either of them!
←Rate | 10-18-2017 02:54 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Hello dangerous young man! Come and look at our extensive range of military grade, rapid - fire weapons, that can easily eliminate any normal people that question your anti - social and sadistic tendencies!
←Rate | 02-17-2018 06:06 by Truman Comments (6)  

   messageicon So it's been reported that Trevor Baylis has passed away? Is this a wind up?
←Rate | 03-06-2018 03:58 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon I hate it when I click on a porn video and I can see myself in the screen while it's loading?
←Rate | 06-19-2018 07:46 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Korean scientists have announced that have successfully cloned two Macaques! It's impossible to tell them apart..said one of the monkeys!!
←Rate | 06-20-2018 16:01 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon I think Stephen Hawking would be alive today if his family had called an ambulance and not taken him to PC World?
←Rate | 06-21-2018 04:54 by Truman Comments (0)  

   messageicon Planning a trip to Australia..I was asked if I had a criminal record?..I didn't know you still needed one?
←Rate | 06-22-2018 08:35 by Truman Comments (2)  

   messageicon To the person who stole my antidepressants..I hope you're happy now!!!
←Rate | 07-30-2018 19:28 by Truman Comments (4)  


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